The Sunday Service in Whole Foods

382229_562747207078546_1208101830_nThe wonderful array of books, books, and more books, neatly placed on the shelves of Barnes & Noble  all in different size, colors and titles. Colorful literature with the only worry to decipher which lucky author will fulfill me today. I arrived thirty minutes early to my 7pm meet up in Whole Foods on Union Square eager to burn the isle of Barnes&Nobles with my curiosity. I spent the time pandering through the Ancient Knowledge & Hidden Mysteries, and Self-Help sections–my favorite sections ever! Picking up books that spoke deeply about Ancient Egypt and other Ancient Civilizations is a yearning of mine. I adore bridge the gap between my past and present. Plus, I am convinced humans were much more responsible and connected then todays dogma of connectivity and responsibility. Checking my phone after beating the strong wave of indecision that paralyzed me for the last fifteen-minutes, it read 7:04pm. Even when I try to be on time, I am late. It’s embedded in DNA like HTML Codes for me to be tardy.  I sent a text to my, in lack of better terms, friend that I am near while asking for his location for I surprisingly didn’t receive a text confirming my incessant tardiness.

I make way down Union Square park. The sun hid completely  on the other side of the world letting them know its soon to start a new day leaving the city the never sleeps to keep up the nightly duties. The bustling cars passed, people expediting streets,  and a couple romancing with the female shooting a quick look at me while laughing at her boyfriends tender kisses. Ahead of me reads the large green sign Whole Foods, fairly considerable in size in comparison to the competing stores but, not beating the famous numbers that stand high across a building. The numbers that rumored the end of the time, when in reality it just reads the time in military on the left and how many hours are before the hour struck 12 on the right.  I enter the health food realm with excitement until I despairingly saw the elongated lines.

I didn’t to come to spend anymore money though, I came to deliver these CD’s to a friend after a failed experience on trying to join their business plan–but that’s another story! I walk the stairs that was once unknown to me for many years. It lead to an open cafeteria filled with my dynamic people eating, talking, doing tarot cards and…with honor… people conducting a service of the Lord.

My friend raised his hand as I see him sitting next to people foreign to me. My blood began to boil in this short distance to him. I hoped to God that these strangers were not part of his team in which imagined him asking me belittling questions in front them: “Did you watch the CD’s? “, “No!, Well, why haven’t you?”, “You’re making excuses, you don’t have the success mentality like we spoke about. Remember you don’t want live in the employer quadrant!” Remember, remember, remember…Just know, I had comebacks for any and which way the windblown if his colleagues tried me.

At the table, an elderly lady sit comfortably in a black wool jacket with a matching hat. The wrinkles on her face etched and sketched every inch of her face. Another lady in a gray loose fitting sweater with fine short hair and supple brown skin sat on the end of the table. A black bag filled with books and a really bad, brown, unkept, shiny synthetic wig on top of it separated the two ladies. That wig, that beast, that horse hair was horrendous!  As I eyed this scene with much bewilderment,  I caught on my friend on the receiving end of the table. He sat with his legs crossed  and titled attentively listening to what I soon was about to learn.

I placed my bad on the table ready to pull of the agreement and leave immediately. No conversing, no trying to be friends, nothing but my ass on the 5 Train and my nose in my new book. “Are these your friends?” I asked with my face is slight disgust pointing at the weirdness in front of me. The lady in the gray sweater interrupts my question telling Ronald, the friend, to meditate on something. So I asked Ronald what were they talking about. I thought since the lady said meditate that this must be a conversation I would dive into with joy. Maybe these unknowns aren’t as weird as I thought to be. Maybe there wouldn’t a be rush to head home. Ronald who had on an orange dashiki I’m sure was made in Thailand and not Africa, shot a look up at me, “These are just people, we’re talking about being GAY.” Must he put so much emphasis on the word gay. I shook my head at the stupidity. I refused to get into some debate about sexuality. And for him to yet again talk to strangers, why couldn’t he sit alone like a normal New Yorker and be in his phone patiently  waiting for the CD’s? Have not his parents told him the adolescence rule about speaking to strangers. However, if they lured him in with candy…I want one.

Still confused as to how meditation met with being gay in a discussion, the old white lady rises from her seat in disbelief. “Something is wrong with you,” she said to Ronald.  Ronald combats her phobia  by telling me how she believes being gay is wrong for, yet of course, religious reasons. She turns to me slipping through the cracks of the tables, she was very soft spoken, so caring the tone of her voice that her ignorance felt loving and right. It wasn’t.  The lady in gray finally looks up at me. I was caught by surprise by her crossed eyedness. Things just now got too awkward. “You gay too?” asked the delicate toned elderly. “Nah, I’m straight. I don’t go through their struggles,” I said sarcastically. See, this the deal. I don’t like foolish questions that is none of anybody’s business. In these scenarios, I purposely lie in front of your face. It messes with ones prejudice or fools them completely, in the same moment, their ignorance speaks for them, as they often don’t hold back on words. “Good for you, You should speak to your friend about it,” Grandma suggested.  The lady in gray asked the same invasive  question so quickly with diligence it came off more as a proclamation then inquiry. I completely ignored her and looked to Ronald who still sat his chair sullen. His face appeared docile, innocent, and pale in expression.  The lady in gray goes in this whole sermon after Betty White trailed her nun looking ass out of our vision.

She rants horribly on how Ronald needs to meditate on his life decisions. Then detailed explained God’s workings in first person as if her consciousness was high enough to even speak for an entity the human race as a whole is slowly trying to understand. And so she went on:  “You see that lady next me I didn’t know and when she told me to take off my wig, I knew that was God speaking to me because she is a lady of faith, this is how God works. He expresses himself through you and I. He left his word. Don’t worry I accept you.” This angered me, how are you going to say you accept someone and tell one to meditate on how to live their life? When I addressed that to her, she fires her acceptance to me. Bitch, I don’t need you to accept me! I don’t even know you! How dare she flaunt her fake forgiveness in my face. The audacity of it all, be it that miserable, disgraceful relationship between her and that dirty, filthy, shit colored wig! I wanted to tell her so badly to meditate and accept that furry animal she hides under.

Instead I zipped my bag and left with Ronald following after me. The incident moments before I left in the past though Ron still felt indifferent. I made a pit stop at the Bank when he asked about my next moves, “I’m going home.”  He remained quiet before spilling out his feelings, “I’m really hurt…” I didn’t pay any mind, I was too focus on the ATM and how much money I was going to withdraw. I think twenty is doable. To be quite honest, I didn’t really care how he felt.  He has this tendency to speak to me in a chastising way especially during our business ordeal. A nasty distaste is left in my mouth refusing to care at all.

” I need a hug,” he commanded. At this point, was he just trying to stall? Because, I’m not for the nuisances and the woe is me narrative. No one told him to speak to strangers and actually sit there defenseless.  He actually agreed to meditate  on it! He made them feel right, he made himself feel weak. I glanced at him sharply, “Aw, you feel bad?” He nodded meekly before me. Just when he thought I was going to confide him in my arms like a protective brother, I pat him ever so lightly on the back. “Aw You’re a big boy. You’ll be ‘iight. When people try to undervalue me in passive aggressive ways I ignore it, or read the shit out of them, depending on the battle.” I cracked a half way smile hoping he caught the undertone shade I threw.  “You know before you came,” He started, “They old lady said, something worst then AIDS is coming my way and I am going to suffer.” My  eyes widened in disbelief. “Yeah, and to the black lady she said ‘You should take off that wig. I know it’s fake. You’re never going to get a man with that hair on.’ ” I blurted out laughing so hysterically I collided with a few pedestrians. I couldn’t believe the level of hate was going on at one table! He stood there lifeless in his poise as I tried to pick myself up and regain my composure. “I’m sorry,” I said wiping the saliva off my chin, “The health read is horrible  and this is why I don’t indulge in bitter people like her but, she flamed that other chick so badly. Now that was a classic!” He didn’t move an inch. “You know,” Ronald continued, “It’s hurts more because I am a Christian too!”  I took a deep sigh, knowing this was my cue to go home, “Well, these are your peoples. This is what they do. Hey, what can you do about it.” Placing on hand on his shoulder giving him a few shakes to wake him up from his state, I bid farewell.

I got my ass right on that 5 train, with my nose in my new book called, Science of the Mind.

 

 

 

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Circles and More Circles and More

Circles and More Circles and More

If you were a geometric shape (e.g. square, circle, isosceles triangle, etc.), what would you be and why?

So I am going to do part of the The Finicky Cynic “June ‘Jour’ Challenge” I am rather late in it, but this prompt stood out to me the most. It took me no time to answer either. What geometric shape would I be…hmm, easily, a circle?

So why a circle? A circle is too me the basic, original geometric shape that has the deepest meaning. It’s the basic design leading into the Flower of life symbol which is said to be the design that created the universe. As every math problem, every line, every thought stems from the creation of the Flower of Life. It is only right I pick something that represents the deepest part of me.

The Flower Of Life

 The Flower Of Life 

The flower of life is part of the sacred Geometry our ancestors some how strangely knew of. The great ancient civilizations in our human history all shared this one symbol. It can be found in every major religion some are remixed into portions of the symbol, but overall, it reaches every cornerstone of the world. It can seen etched in stone and clay tablets in flow with the story of their civilization. Somehow, the civilization knew all about this symbol with no connections with each other. How is that even possible?

The makings of the symbol consist of evenly drawn circles overlapping each other to form flower like symbols. It’s actually very easy to make with a protractor. you just draw a circle and then at the anywhere on the line of the circle you place the point of the protractor and draw the same pattern over and over. It’s quite the learning experience as every inch, every placement counts.

This symbol is everywhere in nature. As for me, while going through my spiritual journey I was enamored at the mass of information I was receiving. Learning I am part of everything and everything is part of me is astounding. A Circle is never ending as I am never ending. We are never ending. We are always is!

How fun is that…( better then being told I’m a sinful, dirty beast, born into a evil world and wickedness).

Here is SpiritScience  Better in-dept explanation on The Flower Of Life. These People are just Ah-May-Zing!

20 SIGNS FOR THE END OF TIMES

What I am about to tell you is something I have been withholding for a very long, long long time. I was afraid to say it and publicize it without the fear of being judged and looked down upon.

I know somethings many don’t know.
No one at all knows this…

I was told about the end of times that defies all belief’s. Don’t worry from whom it wouldn’t matter. However its been in front of our faces for many,  many years. Warning us, but we as humans don’t listen unless it’s a psychological shock.

So I am delivering this message to open your eyes. it up to you to believe, you do have a choice.

  1. The sunset
  2. 59 seconds & minutes
  3. December 31
  4. When the movie ends
  5. End of your semester
  6. When you bus stops running
  7. When you phone breaks
  8. When someone eats your food you saved in the fridge
  9. When you take a shit and there’s no more tissue
  10. When your watch stops working
  11. Not hitting the lottery
  12. When your hot water decides to not function one morning
  13. When some one calls you a basic bitch.
  14. Spending money in Manhattan,NY
  15. When you believe in men
  16. When you believe in women
  17. When Bill O Reilly is your pastor for the news
  18. Obama’s last term
  19. 11:59
  20. You

Organized Religion

Do you like organized religion?

My journey through spirituality has been a continuous one around 2010 through growing close to a devoted Christian. Well two friends actually were great influences on my Christianity.

Merely, cause at the time I was trying to find myself a little more deeply and thought why not give this a chance. See, religion wasn’t so strict in my house growing up. Yes we celebrated easter the urban way buy getting new clothes, also Xmas. We never really went to church regularly and quite frankly I’m glad we didn’t. We did do bible study though for a short period of time.

Naturally because of my sexuality I always felt severed from religion because of the outpour of hate. Which to me hate is hate, hate feels like hate in your chest and emotions. and hate is no different from any other hate. Anyways, I, however, also feel separated from the stories in the bible. It seems like all the main heroes on the story had this amazing gift to speak to God and have this divine connection even speak to angels. I wanted to feel as special and connected to God as all the characters in the bible. Can at least speak in tongue and experience the very essence of the holy spirit.

I would look around me and through experience I never saw anymore of these heroes created after the bible. So I thought why did the bible and its stories end? Are there no more heroes to be made to save us from economic slavery, what about  U.S. slavery in the 1800’s who was the great moses of that time? Even the Holocaust.  There were no religious supermans created like Noah and moses and more?

I would read the bible and get lost in translation. I saw nothing but a set of rule books that represented that period and point of time. At church service I was in love with the music and live bands and the promotion of happiness to some degree. I never understood the need to donate money. And I never understood the speaking in tongue experience which further made me felt unworthy

The unworthy feeling crept as I read more into religion. Then came the connections of organized religion.
Why are they’re so many domininations of Christianity that selectively chooses to teach what they want. On top of not agree with another form of belief in its same sector like Catholics and Judaism.

I didn’t like the ideal of blind faith because its what’s caused the destructions of many people and the foundations of the tragic horrors people use from manipulation. You can’t disprove an opinion and people have used and exploited “God” because its a subjective term than can and is a motive behind everything right or wrong.

I cannot fight against someone saying. “I got a calling from God, he spoke to me and told me to invade Manhattan” it’s impossible.

So I gave up and started to venture off to spirituality and realized in was getting better reaults as far as connections with the higher intelligence then organized religion.

I learned to love myself, nourish my body, pray positively, I felt free from any constrictions. No demanding tithes or hateful slurs. I didn’t feel guilty and unworthy for being who I am. I seen it as the original of all religion. The practice of love and oneness with all.

Astronauts get the same awakening experience when flying out of space and look back at whole world. Its a since of feeling that we are all one. Not that selective people are going to heaven. Not who is going to hell. Not, the lack of free thinking and individuality while still maintaining a sense of togetherness. Not this religion is faker and we should kill them for not believing what I do. Not promoting fear.

I am not against religion. I am against religious insititutions it goes against the purpose of religion. We are humans of free will and thought with the ability to create. We are creators like the divine. Anything that prohibits our very nature of free thought into someone else thought is rather a strong control. I dont wanted to be controlled.

I want to love and be free in me.

Plus I scene the destruction of these institutions and it’s very very long history of havoc even today. You won’t get that from the monks,gurus and even ghandi.

Surprisingly, our founding fathers were not of any religion. They believed in the higher power not a religious God. They also believed you get closer to “God” by understanding nature and its laws. This is called deitsim as they came from the Age Of Reason.

So, how do you feel about organized religion