The Sunday Service in Whole Foods

382229_562747207078546_1208101830_nThe wonderful array of books, books, and more books, neatly placed on the shelves of Barnes & Noble  all in different size, colors and titles. Colorful literature with the only worry to decipher which lucky author will fulfill me today. I arrived thirty minutes early to my 7pm meet up in Whole Foods on Union Square eager to burn the isle of Barnes&Nobles with my curiosity. I spent the time pandering through the Ancient Knowledge & Hidden Mysteries, and Self-Help sections–my favorite sections ever! Picking up books that spoke deeply about Ancient Egypt and other Ancient Civilizations is a yearning of mine. I adore bridge the gap between my past and present. Plus, I am convinced humans were much more responsible and connected then todays dogma of connectivity and responsibility. Checking my phone after beating the strong wave of indecision that paralyzed me for the last fifteen-minutes, it read 7:04pm. Even when I try to be on time, I am late. It’s embedded in DNA like HTML Codes for me to be tardy.  I sent a text to my, in lack of better terms, friend that I am near while asking for his location for I surprisingly didn’t receive a text confirming my incessant tardiness.

I make way down Union Square park. The sun hid completely  on the other side of the world letting them know its soon to start a new day leaving the city the never sleeps to keep up the nightly duties. The bustling cars passed, people expediting streets,  and a couple romancing with the female shooting a quick look at me while laughing at her boyfriends tender kisses. Ahead of me reads the large green sign Whole Foods, fairly considerable in size in comparison to the competing stores but, not beating the famous numbers that stand high across a building. The numbers that rumored the end of the time, when in reality it just reads the time in military on the left and how many hours are before the hour struck 12 on the right.  I enter the health food realm with excitement until I despairingly saw the elongated lines.

I didn’t to come to spend anymore money though, I came to deliver these CD’s to a friend after a failed experience on trying to join their business plan–but that’s another story! I walk the stairs that was once unknown to me for many years. It lead to an open cafeteria filled with my dynamic people eating, talking, doing tarot cards and…with honor… people conducting a service of the Lord.

My friend raised his hand as I see him sitting next to people foreign to me. My blood began to boil in this short distance to him. I hoped to God that these strangers were not part of his team in which imagined him asking me belittling questions in front them: “Did you watch the CD’s? “, “No!, Well, why haven’t you?”, “You’re making excuses, you don’t have the success mentality like we spoke about. Remember you don’t want live in the employer quadrant!” Remember, remember, remember…Just know, I had comebacks for any and which way the windblown if his colleagues tried me.

At the table, an elderly lady sit comfortably in a black wool jacket with a matching hat. The wrinkles on her face etched and sketched every inch of her face. Another lady in a gray loose fitting sweater with fine short hair and supple brown skin sat on the end of the table. A black bag filled with books and a really bad, brown, unkept, shiny synthetic wig on top of it separated the two ladies. That wig, that beast, that horse hair was horrendous!  As I eyed this scene with much bewilderment,  I caught on my friend on the receiving end of the table. He sat with his legs crossed  and titled attentively listening to what I soon was about to learn.

I placed my bad on the table ready to pull of the agreement and leave immediately. No conversing, no trying to be friends, nothing but my ass on the 5 Train and my nose in my new book. “Are these your friends?” I asked with my face is slight disgust pointing at the weirdness in front of me. The lady in the gray sweater interrupts my question telling Ronald, the friend, to meditate on something. So I asked Ronald what were they talking about. I thought since the lady said meditate that this must be a conversation I would dive into with joy. Maybe these unknowns aren’t as weird as I thought to be. Maybe there wouldn’t a be rush to head home. Ronald who had on an orange dashiki I’m sure was made in Thailand and not Africa, shot a look up at me, “These are just people, we’re talking about being GAY.” Must he put so much emphasis on the word gay. I shook my head at the stupidity. I refused to get into some debate about sexuality. And for him to yet again talk to strangers, why couldn’t he sit alone like a normal New Yorker and be in his phone patiently  waiting for the CD’s? Have not his parents told him the adolescence rule about speaking to strangers. However, if they lured him in with candy…I want one.

Still confused as to how meditation met with being gay in a discussion, the old white lady rises from her seat in disbelief. “Something is wrong with you,” she said to Ronald.  Ronald combats her phobia  by telling me how she believes being gay is wrong for, yet of course, religious reasons. She turns to me slipping through the cracks of the tables, she was very soft spoken, so caring the tone of her voice that her ignorance felt loving and right. It wasn’t.  The lady in gray finally looks up at me. I was caught by surprise by her crossed eyedness. Things just now got too awkward. “You gay too?” asked the delicate toned elderly. “Nah, I’m straight. I don’t go through their struggles,” I said sarcastically. See, this the deal. I don’t like foolish questions that is none of anybody’s business. In these scenarios, I purposely lie in front of your face. It messes with ones prejudice or fools them completely, in the same moment, their ignorance speaks for them, as they often don’t hold back on words. “Good for you, You should speak to your friend about it,” Grandma suggested.  The lady in gray asked the same invasive  question so quickly with diligence it came off more as a proclamation then inquiry. I completely ignored her and looked to Ronald who still sat his chair sullen. His face appeared docile, innocent, and pale in expression.  The lady in gray goes in this whole sermon after Betty White trailed her nun looking ass out of our vision.

She rants horribly on how Ronald needs to meditate on his life decisions. Then detailed explained God’s workings in first person as if her consciousness was high enough to even speak for an entity the human race as a whole is slowly trying to understand. And so she went on:  “You see that lady next me I didn’t know and when she told me to take off my wig, I knew that was God speaking to me because she is a lady of faith, this is how God works. He expresses himself through you and I. He left his word. Don’t worry I accept you.” This angered me, how are you going to say you accept someone and tell one to meditate on how to live their life? When I addressed that to her, she fires her acceptance to me. Bitch, I don’t need you to accept me! I don’t even know you! How dare she flaunt her fake forgiveness in my face. The audacity of it all, be it that miserable, disgraceful relationship between her and that dirty, filthy, shit colored wig! I wanted to tell her so badly to meditate and accept that furry animal she hides under.

Instead I zipped my bag and left with Ronald following after me. The incident moments before I left in the past though Ron still felt indifferent. I made a pit stop at the Bank when he asked about my next moves, “I’m going home.”  He remained quiet before spilling out his feelings, “I’m really hurt…” I didn’t pay any mind, I was too focus on the ATM and how much money I was going to withdraw. I think twenty is doable. To be quite honest, I didn’t really care how he felt.  He has this tendency to speak to me in a chastising way especially during our business ordeal. A nasty distaste is left in my mouth refusing to care at all.

” I need a hug,” he commanded. At this point, was he just trying to stall? Because, I’m not for the nuisances and the woe is me narrative. No one told him to speak to strangers and actually sit there defenseless.  He actually agreed to meditate  on it! He made them feel right, he made himself feel weak. I glanced at him sharply, “Aw, you feel bad?” He nodded meekly before me. Just when he thought I was going to confide him in my arms like a protective brother, I pat him ever so lightly on the back. “Aw You’re a big boy. You’ll be ‘iight. When people try to undervalue me in passive aggressive ways I ignore it, or read the shit out of them, depending on the battle.” I cracked a half way smile hoping he caught the undertone shade I threw.  “You know before you came,” He started, “They old lady said, something worst then AIDS is coming my way and I am going to suffer.” My  eyes widened in disbelief. “Yeah, and to the black lady she said ‘You should take off that wig. I know it’s fake. You’re never going to get a man with that hair on.’ ” I blurted out laughing so hysterically I collided with a few pedestrians. I couldn’t believe the level of hate was going on at one table! He stood there lifeless in his poise as I tried to pick myself up and regain my composure. “I’m sorry,” I said wiping the saliva off my chin, “The health read is horrible  and this is why I don’t indulge in bitter people like her but, she flamed that other chick so badly. Now that was a classic!” He didn’t move an inch. “You know,” Ronald continued, “It’s hurts more because I am a Christian too!”  I took a deep sigh, knowing this was my cue to go home, “Well, these are your peoples. This is what they do. Hey, what can you do about it.” Placing on hand on his shoulder giving him a few shakes to wake him up from his state, I bid farewell.

I got my ass right on that 5 train, with my nose in my new book called, Science of the Mind.

 

 

 

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UPDATE: Birthday, Hamptons, Instagram, School & More.

UPDATE: Birthday, Hamptons, Instagram, School & More.

Alright! my peoples, who are you all guys are going?  I am doing well over here, thanks for asking. And if you didn’t ask, well…thank you anyways.  So in my last post, I spoke about a few of my May favorites. Which as of now they still are but I can’t wait to express some of my June favorites at the end of the month. However, since then, approximately 14 days past and I can say I pretty pleased with how things are going on.

Birthday/Hamptons

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In front of the Cohens Estate

First, I am now 23. My birthday was on June 6 and guys, I had the best birthday ever! I haven’t enjoyed my birthday since my single digit days running up and down the Discovery Zone, which I believe is now out of business. The Discovery Zone was like the better version of Chuckie Cheese and McDonalds Playhouse. What made it so fun was because I celebrated my 23rd birthday in the Hampton. Yes! I am like so jumping for joy!

Breathe, okay, let me simmer.

pool

My phone actually took this, my edit skills perfected this!

………….

poodle

part of the “Stuff” were these “poodle” bracelets. A term my friend made up as we felt very pure and boogie the whole day. “Just something to walk your poodle in”

Alright, yeah, I’m ready. So, everything fell into place being that the event in the Hampton happened to be on the same day as my birthday. Perfect!. I went with a good friend of mine and an art teacher/friend. The event was a charity type donation place where people basically auctioned money to fund this school. The estate was gratifying! I never seen a house as big as this up close in personal. They had a tennis court in their front yard with 12-13 foot bushes and a beach in their backyard. Not to forget the pool along with an array of pretty flowers. The food was elegantly made, I was around expensive people. It was such a tasteful, inspiring, learning experience. I’m glad I looked the part! I left there feeling so blessed. I also left full with a few sandwiches in my bag along with other dainty Hampton stuff. I am never ever, ever, ever, going to forget such an experience. I want plenty of more of those. Actually, I want a mentor to guide me to those expenses. I want to taste the crisp air again. Until then, I will read the Hampton’s magazine and practice Law of Attraction. Ha!

Instagram lifestyle

me

@Sardoniclaugh

Aesthetics dahling! Aesthetics, aesthetics, aesthetics! Its all about the aesthetics of Instagram. Yeah, well many people may think it’s taken too seriously, but on the one hand, it does make you pay attention to whats around you more. Lately, I have been taking my Instagram feed and trying to make it more  “aesthetically pleasing” Which  is this new trendy thing going on. Basically, the goal is to have every picture compliment each other with the same borders, filters, colors, etc. Thus, you create a theme. I’ve seen some awe creative feeds that makes me scream YES! and I seen some that just makes me unfollow!  In a future post I will explain how I edit my photos, but in the mean time I need to learn how to perfect it now that I got the right tools. I think I may need an Iphone 6 or invest in a professional camera. I like quality things and social media outlets are another extension of yourself, I believe. With that, I think its very cool to have your mini representations look nice. Eventually, it will look like some brand when everything flow and is cohesive. This why I wanted to change my blog name to SardonicLaughs, though I’m realizing I may loose all my content in the process. That’s so dumb! Whether you like it or not you are being judged and look at like some brand. When need be to market myself, I want my outlets to represent me uniquely and entirely. When I tried to do a whole new IG it got deleted in the same day, like really…I was so pissed! Whatever now I will just learn the tricks and the trades. Follow me though @sardoniclaugh, please!

College

Now we all know my struggle with college has been essence of drama ever since the death of romeo. Good news burst through my email about a week ago ( starts doing the shamoney). BMCC accepted me, Yes! thank the law of attraction yet again as it always a method of prevail. I swear! I was like jumping for joy, like literally in my house on my bed spazzing out! Like honestly I was so stoked. I can now finish with in the next two years maybe even faster! I can give my parents a graduation, feel complete, then move on with my life! Surprisingly, I am hype to return back to this place. Reason be it cause I will be taking courses I hand picked, perfecting my writing skills with my new writing & literature major as well as taking up Italian. My path is finally clear! all I have to do now is drive straight to the finish line after 7 years…

Hobbies

I’ve been enjoying myself a little more lately, meaning I have been focusing a lil’ more on myself more than I have ever before. I took a risk like three weeks ago and that was to just randomly ask these people to jump double dutch at union square park. This was unnerving because I can be extremely shy to the point I will miss out on opportunities because of it. Double dutch has been very close to for as far back as the age of 5. However, due to society my parents banned me from jumping it because it was girly, and perpetuates more teasing and so forth. In return, I would sneakily jump double dutch when my parents weren’t around. It was thrilling to be rebelling the way that I was, but also scary when I got caught.  Now, I am able to fill the deep desire to do Double-Dutch-Entertainers-e1361180285187jump and do what I like without a care in the world. It’s amazing that I took the chance to ask and now I’m meeting new people. I am doing what I like to do by myself. I am proud of myself honestly, It just fine tunes another facet of me.  I am glad that I am exploring myself into these areas from voguing to double dutch, writing and more. I am doing what pleases and interest me and its rewarding.  I’m much more happier than I have been in months, Ideally because schools is out and summer is here, laugh out loud. Oh, yeah and I started dancing again and performing this weekend in Harlem, NY. So excited to be on stage again in a custom being me!

Expert level much!

Well, I think that is all for now. I’m thinking about posting on a scheduled basis like twice a week at a certain time that way its best for consistency, organization, and expectations for readers. I’m still on the fence about my blog name, blah! Until next time, CIAO!

Snapchat: Sardoniclaughs
Instagram: Sardoniclaugh
Tumblr: MesardonicMesarcastic
Twitter: @fantasyFatality

Daily Prompt: In the Summertime

The Gritty (part 3)

The Gritty (part 3)

Kasey walked over to me. “Don’t worry about Tommy he is just going through it. He is however the cunt one I was telling you about. Are you sure you don’t want to come with us to club reign?” she asked.  I really didn’t want to go honestly. I initially only came here to be with Tyree, but he brought me here to this environment instead the movies. “Nah. I am good. I’ll just go home,” I said. “Are you sure? You know it’s tranny night!” ” I am okay. For real,” I replied. ” I just don’t feel like being around all of that.” “Why? you know many of them?” she asked. I didn’t feel like opening up to her about my life and who I speak to. I don’t know her. “No, I don’t know any.” I lied. ” I want you to meet my friend, he is so dope. Plus he is a top.  He is so cute. Its his birthday so that’s what we’re celebrated for. I really want you to come its going to be fun.” I denied once more hoping she doesn’t ask me again before I get annoyed.

Tyree and Tommy came from the other room still in conversation about the loss in their family. I took a sip of my drink when the short Spanish lady who sniff coke intervened  again.  She made her self comfortable next to me  asking me for my number. She thinks I am so cool, though I only said last then a sentence. “Yeah my number is 555-671-3000.” I don’t know why I gave her my number, my real number at that. She put on her winter coat and left out the door.  The stranger sitting across from me was drunk to the point of no return. He had a bottle of Hennessy drinking it straight. I looked at him with a screwed face. How can people drink dark liquor with ease like that?  Kasey and I had started a new conversation. She is an interesting girl who is very affluent in this lingo and it made my question who she knows. Maybe we have the same friends and that wouldn’t be in my favor.

“Yeah, my shit was laced. I am telling you. I was fucking with this doctor who I was his assistant for. He was married and everything and still was hitting me off with a few dollars. That nigga wanted me to move in with him upstate. He had a summer-house up there he said I could stay in. He’s a Jew so you know what that means…”

“That he has money, lots of it,” I said, laughing. Tommy and Tyree disappeared into the back room again.
“You damn right, well anyways, I– Wait, why are y’all always talking in the room? Y’all being mad disrespectful to your guest here,” Kasey said to Tommy and Tyree.
“This is my house!” yelled Tommy “N-No one is going to tell me how to run m-my house, okay?”
“But damn boy, why are you acting so shady all of a sudden that is not cute. I am your sis you, don’t you do that!”
Tommy smiled and they decided to hug and exchange I love you’s a few times.

“That is my sis, Me and Tommy been through it all, especially when we out looking for dick. I am telling you Tommy be getting the niggas. You may be a little old now, but that bitch knows how to hustle. Shit, they be after him more than me and I am the girl. They be saying, ‘I don’t want you, you got a pussy I can that in the morning.”

“Are you serious?” I said taking a sip of my vodka and Dr. pepper mix. “Where you do you guys do this at.” I grew a strong sense of curiosity. It seemed so daring, thrilling, and exciting to go out to the unknown and cruise people. Like trick or trick for adults. I wanted to know more. I wanted to her to show me where, but there’s a time and place.
” Right here, in the Bronx on the other side of the four train it’s heavy in that area. Yo! one time we had to run for our lives like dead ass. Some nigga pulled out a knife on us and we had to fight our way out.
“For real? Oh my God, wow that is crazy what happened?” I asked.
” We was sucking the guy off in the staircase and then he just started panicking thinking we was going to tell people on his block about it. Then he pulled out a knife. That was the first time I say Tommy actually fight. I was not expecting his gay ass to buck down but he held his own, ya know.”

“Wait, what happen with the Jewish doctor?” I took another sip.

 

 

The Gritty ( part 2 )

The Gritty ( part 2 )

As I was walking up the steps, I saw a grown man fair-skinned with a scruff face. Tyree introduced him to me immediately, “This is Donovan I was telling you about earlier that was coming.” Tommy looked at him with a strong stare without saying a word. I started to feel unwelcome already. I was the last to walk into the door leaving me face to face with tommy. I told him thank you for having me and reached out to shake his hand. He ignored it and gave me a hug instead. “You’re welcome, you can sit at the corner in the chair.” I sat down and got comfortable making sure all my belongs were together. By the looks of it everybody already had to be older than me by at least a decade.

This other grown man was already drunk in front of me. He was so incoherent I probably appeared as a mirage to him.  Soon this short Spanish lady started talking to me out of random. “Yes, sweet heart, have yourself a drink. You know my man doesn’t even know that I am. I am soon about to go before he gets home,” the random lady said swaying side to side marinated in her liquor. “You know, what my man doesn’t know will not hurt him. I do a little…” She gestured her hand to her nose. “And my kids don’t know either. I have older kids about twenty-two and twenty-four, also I got my youngest daughter of two.” I started to then question her age if her oldest kid and I are the same age. Then to have a younger daughter of only two years, what age did she start having kids? ” I am 42,” she continued. “It is nobody business what drugs I do. I do my drugs for myself and not anybody else. So no one, especially my kids, can think they have the right to do it.” Although drunk, she made a valid point.  She continued in her ramblings about her and her friends and how they party about. I sat there listening and agreeing to everything she said. I don’t know her.

Tommy came out from his room showing me a picture of his Godparents. “This is a picture of my parents, I call them my parents because  didn’t know my real parents.” His godmother looked so pretty in her 1960’s glam hair style, her body pinched in a silver dress, and her lashes  with heavy eyeliner. “She looked like a party goer,” I said. “yeah, she was but she just passed, you still  have your mom around?” Tommy asked. “Yeah, I do.” I responded.  “Well, cherish her because my godmother was all I had and now she is gone.” Tommy started to weep empty tears, but I felt the pain inflicted on him from this realization. Tyree came from behind him, “Yo, what the hell I told you about tell everybody your passing. You not gonna’ learn are you? People are out here ready to take advantage of your ass and you’re out here being a bitch in front of strangers.” “Look!” Tommy blurted, “I am a grown ass man and this is my house and I can do what ever the hell I want too. Tyree, we have to talk come with me in my room.”

The Gritty

The Gritty

Damn, It is so cold I hope I don’t get stood up again, I thought. I paid the cab driver twenty dollars  wishing him a safe and good night. I stood right on the corner and gave him a call.  He didn’t pick up. It had to be sixteen degrees outside and Lord knows I don’t want to be out here for long. I saw the street sign counting down from 20 seconds and ran across the Grand Concourse to the other side. Maybe if I wait half way into the subway I won’t be too cold. I was making my way down the steps when someone called me. It was a middle-aged black man with his lips swollen.
“Hey sir, I’m sorry I know it’s cold I came from the shelter that’s around the block behind Taft High School, I need help with getting my ID in Brooklyn. It’s kind of hard asking people out here, you know man, this one guy thought he was too good to help me.”

I looked at him and shook my head. “Yeah, okay do you need help getting on the train I can swipe you on–”
“No,” He interrupted,” I can get on the train with no problem, I just need help with money for getting my ID, you see this?” He pointed to his fist. I saw one huge, dry, ashy, cold knuckle. “My main man, was telling me not to act a fool and rob people.”
” Yeah, don’t do that sir, it’s no need for all of that it is way too cold!” I said. He continued asking if I can help him with anything and I stood there thinking what I should do. Should I lie and say no? or break my twenty and give him ten?
“Well, lets look for a store and I will help you out with something.” I said. He sighed in great relief. We found a store several feet away where I broke the twenty and gave him two fives.
“Yo, man thank you so much, I am so grateful. I seen you cross the street and wanted to compliment your jacket also.” He said. I get compliments on my jacket quite often.
“Thank You and sure no problem.” I said. ” So what is your name?” He asked.
“My name is Donovan.” We walked back up the hill to the concourse and bid farewells when my phone started to ring.

It was Tyree. I seen him across the street standing tall with his Tim’s that match his beige jacket and hat. He was looking all other ways instead of in front of him when I approached him. He still looked the same from last week. Which made me a little at ease. “Yo, your here,” He said smiling. “I’m sorry that I had you waiting the other two times. I told you about my cousin in-law getting locked up and shit. I know we were suppose to go to the movies too–”
“Yeah, I know, but it is okay, now I am here. It’s cold as fuck now too.” I said. We walked down the hill. He was telling me how  they all drinking getting ready for the night.  He convinced me to get some liquor. I didn’t feel like drinking, merely because I didn’t want to be drunk in an unfamiliar place with strange people. “Okay, but I am getting the smallest thing of vodka,” I said. “Alright cool, and I’ll cover your drink,” he said.  I got me a little Barton’s Vodka. I never had that brand. I am not even a drinker. Liquor stores are as foreign to me as Spongebob is to being late for work.

Boys Do “This,” Girls Do “That”

Growing up I was very Unique. In most pictures it was very easy to point me out, not because I was extremely cute with a smile of the sun and dimples of the deep, but merely from being the kid that did weird poses and expression. I made picture taking…FUN! And this sense of  doing what comes to mind is still with me today. It, however, wasn’t easy.

I was really good by the way

I was really good by the way

I don’t know why, I don’t even care to know why, I was attracted to “girly” things. No! not wearing my moms clothes or having long hair, although, I did used to put the neck of a T-shirt around my head to swing it, but all kids did that!  . . right? Well, who cares. In elementary school,  I would be the boy you mostly see with the girls playing hand games like Numbers, Patty Cake, Miss Marry Mat, and Tweet Baby! I loved the hand eye coordination matched with rhythmic words telling an elaborate story. I would literally be the only boy to do these activities, and of course I did get the back lash of words and phrases belittling my being. Kids are mean. They say what they want with no second thought or remorse. Uncouthly, they speak their truth.
Naively, I thought I could bring the same careless at home. Nope, that wasn’t the case. I had a bad history of being teased for being feminine. My parents tried to conform me in ways to oppose the harsh criticism. Sometimes it resulted in me teasing them back or fighting, which didn’t happen often.

Nobody sent me this fake change from kids to boys...fuck that I'm stay a kid!

Nobody sent me this fake change from kids to boys…fuck that I’m stay a kid!

I hated being teased, but I hated to do things that did not appeal to me even more. Hanging around girls came with a strong sense of ease. They had more fun together, they were always consistently laughing and giggling. Boy’s on the other hand, I felt like I had to live up to an expectation of masculinity that took way to much work. I felt like they and me were acting. Especially, around intermediate school, boys “grew up”. In the summer of 4th grade going into 5th grade, Allegedly, there was a memo sent around saying boys will now prematurely deepen their voices, pull their pants below their waist, and only like basketball and football. I damn sure never got this memo.

I liked playing double dutch. My parents tried numerous times to ban me from playing it. It was something that “girls do” amongst me talking with my hands, because Italians do that too, and talking on the phone too long, etc. I remember playing double dutch with my friends and my mother came to the park to pick me up. She scolded me, “Didn’t I tell you, you shouldn’t be jumping Double Dutch, it’s for girls, are you a girl?

Then came the lecture of in order to stop the name calling I had stop doing girly things bullshit.  This started to take a toll on me. I was afraid to bring a rope home, I was afraid to speak on experiences. I slowly was developing a double life very early in my childhood. One day I after a good rope session I made up this dumb lie to change her perspective on me jumping rope.  I said, “Mom did you know they passed a law so boys can jump rope.” She replied sarcastically, “oh really?”

downloadI thought I had won her over and now I was freed from the shackles of stupidity. I was wrong again. I with all honestly couldn’t not understand what rule book many people were going by. Did I really lived in my own world throughout my life? The rejection forced me look at the world around me and question deeply WHO MAKES THESE STUFF UP? and why can’t I just do and be me? what is so wrong for a boy to play hand games and jump rope. I’m not going around in girls clothes at 7 yrs. of age, or even saying I want to be a girl.  So I felt If I can’t do what I want to do, then I’m not going to do anything at all. And that’s exactly what I did till I was 15.

SO, I ask you readers, have you ever been forced out of your likings for the sake of someone else or image?