How to Manifest Your Desires With The New Moon.

How to Manifest Your Desires With The New Moon.

New beginnings are possible. Usually, In the midst of your own chaotic life the last thing you want to hear is to start right now, or trick yourself into the mindset that a new day means a new beginning. Especially, when your day is moved by the stress from the night before, or the pressure of what lies ahead in the future. Sometimes, we need to mentally prepare ourselves for a new beginning rather then switch gear in a snap of a finger. Thankfully, there are the moon cycles to help seed, cultivate, and manifest our desires. Yay!

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Joining the flow of nature, working with the natural order of things makes life easier for us and grants us with greater return. Farmers knew this, for they harvest seeds during the new moon finding out crops tend to be more richer and more lively then. “Gardening by The Moon” it’s called. It’s an age old folklore. The same process applies to us when we want to manifest our truest intentions bringing up more of our wants into fruition; Write down your desire (plant), Feel your desire as if you have it now (water), and let universe bring it to you (watch it grow). Like the Chia commercialsch-ch-chia!. Quotation-Steve-Maraboli-life-success-motivation-water-goals-inspirational-action-order-Meetville-Quotes-7196

To use the moon cycle for guidance and for you benefit here’s what you do:

1. Find the next new moon.

2. Light candles, play music, put yourself in a good mood and setting.

3. Burn incense or sage to clear the rooms energy.

4.With a pen and paper right down your desires in present tense, “I now invite into my life experience…” “I now have..” “I am…” Do not limit yourself. Don’t feel ashamed for how big or how small of your wants. The size doesn’t matter to the universe only your alignment with your goals with proper thoughts and feelings matter.

Loa5. Visualize your goals dreams and desire. Take a moment to meditate on these goals. You should be smiling and feeling good with imagining your goals. Have as much fun as you have. Remember the happier the faster.

6. Make a vision board, to further deepen your visualizations.

7. Burn the list, hide the list, detach yourself from the list. Constant dwelling on when your goals going to come further pushes them away delaying the fruition. Trust that the universe will provide for you.

8. Thank the universe for manifesting your desires and feel the gratitude, then be!

The Past Discombobulated Months

The Past Discombobulated Months

The tragicomedies of my life still prevail! The last–I don’t know, six months has been marinated in molasses having me feel like I’m swimming in mud. I won’t even dare equate it too sweet like honey-dew. I would be lying like politicians. I had to subside on the blogging due to the daily clutter. Yes, I could have updated during the desolate work hours, however, half of my mind will constantly remind me how I should be doing school work instead. “You know all this energy you put in celebrated Mariah Carey’s song release, you could easily start your paper…and go to class on time,” my thoughts said undoubtedly. Did I listen to myself? Of course not, do I normally? Sometimes. On that particular day I just didn’t. Instead, I randomly posted an entry like a random boyfriend who unexpectedly vanished from home coming back to his relationship like, “Hey girl!” Clearly, my stats responded, “Bye Felicia!”

The precarious relationship between me and college worsen like an infectious wound. Leaving me in a deadly quandary, I had to meet with my academic advisory after being put into my last probation, “You know I’ve been trying to contact you last semester also, we were suppose to meet and speak about your grades.” I believed she lied. Although I may not always check my school email, because it’s very annoying to remember to do so, I don’t recall at all! I rolled my eyes in my mind at that statement. Whatever, anyways, she continued on about signing a promissory note that included my academic plan and what my GPA should be if I plan on to survive in that school. “Honestly, you got into this school by the skin of your teeth,” she said as I briefly explained my interminable struggles of college, including my dismissal from my last school. “Had you sent your college transcript from your last school, you wouldn’t got in.” Yeah, she is so right, but colleges want my money.

This lady probably in her late twenties, early thirties tried to reason with me through my explanation desperate to find something that will vindicate my poor grades. “So what happen that causes this?” she asked. I lifted my head up looking to the ceiling pantomiming my speechlessness with my hands and face. I couldn’t come up with a solid, plausible reason why. “Honestly, I just hate college. These loans make me question how much I really want my career. No one is forcing me other than myself and society making me feel as if college is the only way!” I ranted, “These classes are extremely uninteresting, you guys don’t offer much after radio, emotionally and mentally I feel stifled. I pay so much money to still walk into a radio station feeling inadequate.” I couldn’t be any more frank with her. The meeting went on to her concluding how internally inflicted I am, how I should really reconsider college, and so on and forth. With all things considered, I signed a few papers, promised I’ll do well and meet with her weekly for checks up. I assure you I did not attend those weekly meetings. In addition to, she wanted me to speak to my professors about my grades. I left that meeting trying to forget all that just happened to hear my heart like a siren.

Henceforth, the rest of the month followed by trying to take on too much on my plate like I tend to always do. I started a radio internship, while still doing another internship, which swallowed my Tuesdays up–my only open day. Luckily, my mom was able to drive me to Brooklyn in the mornings to my radio internship. It’s been low-key sweet; a nice one-on-one time with my mom. Also, I had the usual work and school added to the list. So, my schedule told me I had no days off. And I didn’t, for balancing school, two interns, work and some social life was emotionally draining. I started to think I was doing too much…maybe I was, though, I continued to persevere.

Meanwhile, I went through my typical emotional downpours which lead me to think I needed help. Reason being, when people asked how I was doing I felt like crying on the spot. I felt myself literally faking the smiling, saying “I’m okay.” My body in an exigency to express my truth. I wanted to say so badly when asked, “I am not okay, I feel horrible, stagnant, money-less, lost and so forth.” This has not happened to me before, mainly because when asked I don’t feel the issues at that giving time. However, in that bracket between November and March, it became really hard to compartmentalized my nerves. I started noticing people asking me if I am okay; I believe It was starting to be visible on my face, which, yet, again, is not usual. This will happen during the rare times I am not talking and my mind is bounded in tumultuous thoughts. I was a ticking time bomb or a dam collecting droplets from every upheaval, whether it be from missing my bus, some dramatic turmoil with my partner, or doing some paper, I was at the edge. I told myself plentiful I needed to speak to someone. With tiny bits, I expressed my ongoing issues with me and school with a few friends who been through therapy. I sought out for a counselor, but it never pulled through. Eventually, as I knew it would, I lifted myself out of the funk. I tried concluding the reason to be the warming weather. I tried so hard to pinpoint the downpour thinking it was just a multitude of unsatisfied areas.

Be that as it may be, I am glad this is all passing. I don’t believe my school is going to dismiss me, my interns are ending, school is ending, and I joined another radio program. Through speaking to a dear friend, I realized I am in a much better position than many people with a degree. Comparatively, with my job, radio internship, and program, I have skimmed my field closer than those whom graduated. She told me not to rush myself or be too hard as the process of adulthood molds me. Things will fall into place as they have been in the midst of my strife’s. Though, I am trying to transfer into the school that dismissed me while learning I have a 15,000 balance from my current school with no loans I can take out, due to my grades, I know things will work out.

I swear when I left high school, I was not expecting all of this.

In response to State Your Fear 

Heavy waters.

I took off my shirt and threw it to the side of the bathroom. It fell on the side of the toilet, but I didn’t care. I followed with my pants being pulled down. My brown temple showed it self in the mirror that holds no secrets. I took off my underwear revealing all of my brownskin in different shades. My hair is two weeks outdated from its last haircut. My face sullen with marks of acne and bad dieting. I pushed aside my white sea shelled bath curtains to turn on the knobs and ignite the shower. The terrental rains splattered against the tub. I made my way in. My once dry skin is now moist. My sanctuary fills up with warm steam. I try to let go of the built up emotions, but I failed.  I opened my body scrub with sea salt and essential oils that changed the scenery with its Forrest smell. The essential oils soften my skin to impeccable luxury. I try to embrace the gratitude I felt when my hands raced across my arms and legs with slippery ease. The smell transports me to a get away in brackets of imagination flashes. Vacation away haulted by upsetting thoughts:
   I don’t understand any longer. The fight and the confusion. The paranoia and discomfort. I don’t know if this love is toxic. I don’t know if this is love. Why can’t we be at peace forever with each other. Why must you be so paranoid. Are you afraid I’m going leave? Why not focus on making me happy; making each other happy. I thought everything was fine. I thought we were moving forward. Maybe cause I accepted flattery. Did you accept flattery as well? Have you been perfect all up until now ? Are we not mature enough? I ask of the universe to send me the right answer to show me is this right for me. My insticts are confusing me. I need something definite.
  My face frowned. My head, like a reseviour of water, held stress. I can feel the worry. I can feel the confusion. I can feel the dis-ease. I belted out a loud cry. I dip my head in pouring rain. I hope the warmth of the water will embrace me enough to rid my thought and promote a positive feeling. Instead, it caused me buckle down. I sat in the tub hunched over. I accepted how I felt as now. I didn’t want to accept my thoughts. I didn’t want to no longer feel this discomfort. Still bare in skin I belted out one last time. This wail broke the dam that held my emotions and it poured. I, like the water pelting against my skin, began to weep. I take my hands and placed them on my head as the water falls rapidly. The water curves my hands and my eyes. The water stream seperates on my face making new trails across my eyes, down my nose falling off a cliff to the top of my full lips. The warmer water from inside slowly trickled my cheeks moving at its own pace admist the wild foreign waters. I can taste the salty tears and the fluoride infused water.

I have one last chance in me. If this doesn’t work. I will fully take all responsibility and go for good.

I will try to be vulnerable.

Freedom

This growing freedom feels great.
I can almost tear thinking about the possibilities of what I can do for I am not in a relationship anymore.

I can focus on myself and what I want to do for me. I can be 22 years old.
 Before, I calculated my move and prevented myself from doing many things on the account of my partner.  I was afraid everything I do will be wrong. If I go to a friends/associates house he doesn’t know, If I go somewhere without telling him, If I say or handle any situations I don’t like.

It was underhanded manipulation. I felt taking for granted.
You have to understand how it feels to constantly be in the wrong in someone eyes and never appreciated as fully as you appreciated. Don’t get my wrong I had my fault in some too that was completely understandable.

however, I know for sure 90% of my actions did not hurt the relationship. I have been emotionally stomped on with the person who plays the relationship card monthly.

The disrespect, the mind games, the manipulation, all of that is no more and I am so happy.
At first it I didn’t understand it. I mourned, I felt very sad and low like any normal breakup.

But what woke me up was even after all is said and done I still got faulted on, angered at, blamed and all the above. Which forces me to automatically be the victim. I for one am tired of being the victim after constantly showing my love for someone.

I could’ve been treated better.

but Now, I can roam the city freely, learn to love myself again, learn to love someone else and take the lesson I’ve learned the passed three years.

I can spend the night at a friends house and don’t have to worry. Spend money on me and only me.

and just simply be RIGHT!

IF you have experience some form of freedom after a break up or anything rather, share in the comment box