Greatest Bloggin’ Struggles

Greatest Bloggin’ Struggles

Months ago, maybe more like a year ago I asked how to do people balance their reader. After following so many blogs, one can deal with a lot of clutter from reply to comments, reading others blogs, and making your own. On top of that, you have your daily life and other priorities to upkeep that can make commenting and reading blogs kinda tedious. I’ve been blogging a little over a year having points in time where I want to revamp and take a new direction with my site.

So far, I’d changed my layout like twice leaving it to where it is now, which I can say has a cafe feel to it. I expanded my content into subjects for viewers to pick and choose. Thus, I can organize my content while expanded my site to represent me more. I can now explore more subjects. Recently, ( like a post or two ago) I try expanding the quality of my writing. Meaning, I’m trying to upgrade my style and vocabulary when need too. When I decide to just free-write, I’m not caring too much of the technicality of things. More so an extended Facebook post.

However as my blog expands and changes over time with me, I run into a few adversities. Some of them being stats, consistency, clutter, length of post and so forth. At times I feel like I may write too long and people aren’t really into reading novels the size of Stephen king, but still want to get a handful of goodness without reading tweets, you know?

Now I am thinking about more changes I can do to my site. I am really contemplating reducing my site’s name. MesardonicMesarcastic is cool and all but very long. I can’t imagine telling someone on the street and they actually remember the entirety of it all included the extra wordpress.com. It’s long enough to fall off a business card. Then I realize it’s easier for people to comprehend if all my social media sites are named in unison. I’m probably going to change it to SardonicLaughs, or SardonicWits. You can actually vote….

(Disclaimer: These polls are not subjected to manipulation by the Bush Administration.)

What other changes am I thinking of…uhm, well, I think–Oh yeah! I’m thinking of investing into a camera being that I want to talk photos of quality. Quality is so important…like, so-so-so important!

Anyways, I want to know what have been your stuggles blogging so far in the comment box. Also, don’t forget to vote!

Nostalgic Struggles!

Yo! the way this just took me back to the years of driving in my moms car playing Pokemon!
The kids today don’t understand how annoying this was, yet we were determined to still keep our self’s occupied. Man-oh-man, how I miss those years, but I am surely glad today’s technology improved.

I’m currently smiling at the grandeur of when Gameboy Advanced SP came out and it had the option to turn on the light. It was so blissful as if our childhood pains were healed.

Illusionist Yann Frisch

My partner sent me this video one morning leaving me glued to my phone feeling like a 10 year old boy! In the video below, watch Yann Frisch trick your eyes with red balls and cup. It was quite fascinating! I have forgot all about the magicians and illusionist, it’s so entertaining. I would definitely pay to see him. Then of course, you have the bitter bettys trying to pin-point his flaws. Like, really, girl, move with all that!

#Infinity Shades Of Mariah Carey

Mariah Carey

The five octave paramount diva with 18 #1’s from ”Vision of Love” to “Touch My Body”. The voice that conducted your soul into a catalepsy spell like the musician magician she is…MARIAH CAREY!

Name hold weight like kilos, Boy you acting so corny like fritos, wouldn’t have none of that without me though, it’s none of my business it’s tea though

Already Trending on twitter, Mariah Carey dropped her newest Single “Infinity” 12:01 April 27 on Itunes, Youtube, Spotify, Amazon, and Google. It’s not a surprise to me as facebook group of Lambs and I have been anticipating this single to be drop for weeks. Updates after updates with only taste of reviews from privilege DJ’s.

If life was a game you’re a free throw

Critics are saying this is the 90’s throwback they have been waiting for from Mariah as her last two previous albums, end of marriage, and flawed performances have continuously fueled doubts that Mariah Carey is finished!  See, what happens is, once many starts doubts the best selling female artist in 20 years, she seize the girls again and again and again with her breathy vocals, classic belts and culminating songwriting! Especially now that she is back With L.A. Reid and Epic/Sony records, Mariah Is back home Lambs and already storming!

Close the door loose the key leave my heart on the mat for me. I was yours eternally, there’s an end to infinity.

Mariah Carey Single is the 19th song on her up and coming Hit’s album #1 to Infinity updated with all of her 18 #1 hits set to release May 18th while also jump starting her  Las Vegas tour at The Colosseum at Caesars Palace. Here she will let her voice time travel us back into the times of “Dreamlover”, “Hero”, and “We Belong Together” with  the newly single “Infinity”

Why you tryin to play like your so grown. Everything you own boy you still owe

Is it about Nick Cannon? I doubt it, but if so, this lady damn sure knows how to break-up the right way! Watch the Lyric video below and listen to her story of made up dreams ending unfold.

Boys Do “This,” Girls Do “That”

Growing up I was very Unique. In most pictures it was very easy to point me out, not because I was extremely cute with a smile of the sun and dimples of the deep, but merely from being the kid that did weird poses and expression. I made picture taking…FUN! And this sense of  doing what comes to mind is still with me today. It, however, wasn’t easy.

I was really good by the way

I was really good by the way

I don’t know why, I don’t even care to know why, I was attracted to “girly” things. No! not wearing my moms clothes or having long hair, although, I did used to put the neck of a T-shirt around my head to swing it, but all kids did that!  . . right? Well, who cares. In elementary school,  I would be the boy you mostly see with the girls playing hand games like Numbers, Patty Cake, Miss Marry Mat, and Tweet Baby! I loved the hand eye coordination matched with rhythmic words telling an elaborate story. I would literally be the only boy to do these activities, and of course I did get the back lash of words and phrases belittling my being. Kids are mean. They say what they want with no second thought or remorse. Uncouthly, they speak their truth.
Naively, I thought I could bring the same careless at home. Nope, that wasn’t the case. I had a bad history of being teased for being feminine. My parents tried to conform me in ways to oppose the harsh criticism. Sometimes it resulted in me teasing them back or fighting, which didn’t happen often.

Nobody sent me this fake change from kids to boys...fuck that I'm stay a kid!

Nobody sent me this fake change from kids to boys…fuck that I’m stay a kid!

I hated being teased, but I hated to do things that did not appeal to me even more. Hanging around girls came with a strong sense of ease. They had more fun together, they were always consistently laughing and giggling. Boy’s on the other hand, I felt like I had to live up to an expectation of masculinity that took way to much work. I felt like they and me were acting. Especially, around intermediate school, boys “grew up”. In the summer of 4th grade going into 5th grade, Allegedly, there was a memo sent around saying boys will now prematurely deepen their voices, pull their pants below their waist, and only like basketball and football. I damn sure never got this memo.

I liked playing double dutch. My parents tried numerous times to ban me from playing it. It was something that “girls do” amongst me talking with my hands, because Italians do that too, and talking on the phone too long, etc. I remember playing double dutch with my friends and my mother came to the park to pick me up. She scolded me, “Didn’t I tell you, you shouldn’t be jumping Double Dutch, it’s for girls, are you a girl?

Then came the lecture of in order to stop the name calling I had stop doing girly things bullshit.  This started to take a toll on me. I was afraid to bring a rope home, I was afraid to speak on experiences. I slowly was developing a double life very early in my childhood. One day I after a good rope session I made up this dumb lie to change her perspective on me jumping rope.  I said, “Mom did you know they passed a law so boys can jump rope.” She replied sarcastically, “oh really?”

downloadI thought I had won her over and now I was freed from the shackles of stupidity. I was wrong again. I with all honestly couldn’t not understand what rule book many people were going by. Did I really lived in my own world throughout my life? The rejection forced me look at the world around me and question deeply WHO MAKES THESE STUFF UP? and why can’t I just do and be me? what is so wrong for a boy to play hand games and jump rope. I’m not going around in girls clothes at 7 yrs. of age, or even saying I want to be a girl.  So I felt If I can’t do what I want to do, then I’m not going to do anything at all. And that’s exactly what I did till I was 15.

SO, I ask you readers, have you ever been forced out of your likings for the sake of someone else or image?

Dontae (noun): ….

Dontae(noun): [Blank]
When someone tries to ask me who am I, I try my hardest to be as brief as possible. Honestly, I would want to say nothing at all. Why? Because, saying nothing at all when asked that question is the ultimate freedom for me, but an extreme puzzle for another. I used to feel so guilty for myself and really be in this state of trance trying to describe myself. I felt as if i didn’t know myself. During the era of Myspace the “about me” section was so difficult! Any about me section for that matter.

Why do you have to give definition to your self’s instead of just being? Being in the moment and excepting who is front of you as they are. Do you know what I think happens as soon as someone gives definition to themselves? they start to label themselves. First impression is the lasting impression, and if you start labeling yourself other people will hold those labels as fact; as you are nothing more nothing less that what you announced you are. Let’s face it who really know who they are? With me I am constantly changing and adapting to situations. Therefore, there are things I have never experienced before and from that I don’t know how I will react or handle a situation at hand. What I say I am now I may not be tomorrow.

You have the right to remain silent what you say can and will be held against you in the human law. For instance, the picture posted here with this hands just saying “Just Me” is correct, but if you look deeper into it what is written in detail do you think that’s all she is? All the words around “just me” are just small compartments which we do to our self’s. Had it only say “just me” in plain letters it will automatically lead you to ask “And that is…?” No definition forces one person to accept what they see right now in the moment.Image

Recently, I spoke to an extremely close person to me who inspired me to write this post. I believed he defined himself to much into his career. Which is lovely, great, having the tunnel vision mindset is great when achieving your goals, but where is the depth of yourself. If you eat sleep breathe one thing can you relate to other people. What if that one thing was taking away from you? you are left out of your comfort zone to be stranded? To me, talking about the same thing over and over and doing the same thing over and over eventually tires me out. I need variety in things I involved myself in.

Also, I hate when people assume cause I do one thing or hobbies they have to immediately act or talk away to relate to me. No! I am more than what I say and do.
I am Indefinite like the universe we live in. I tried explaining this to him hoping to see maybe that’s were the slump came from. Humans need variety! The world is not Black and white so why should how we define our self’s be ? Just be and Do!

Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth”  – A. Watts

Reasons Why New Yorkers Are Mean

 People always complain how New Yorkers are mean people. And quite frankly, I agree, totally. I have been living in NYC for 22 years, 2 months and 25 days and counting. I have probably experience the people of New York and not just the fairyland of my neighborhood for about 7 years.

I live in the boogie down Bronx, notorious for it’s creation of Hip-Hop and Yankee Stadium. The real borough of NYC which in includes Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Manhattan and Staten Island. Lastly , there’s Harlem ( which is technically not an official borough but you probably would’ve thought due it popularity, it outshines Staten island tenfold.)

Staten Island is the island the hit TV show “Lost” filmed at. Not true, but if you seen that show you catch my drift.

As a New York City born and raised native here are my reason why NYC are mean:tumblr_nb3e8mDqkE1trhlq2o1_1280

1. Too many beggars.  From advertisements to street beggars NYC is just full of things trying to suck your wallet dry. advertisements run rampant as soon as you hit the 42nd street or probably a little before like 59th street. Billboards sit as high as the Empire State Building for God know what reason.  You can be at a roof top party feeling so fancy and grandeur to be surrounded by clothing signs like H&M or Banks signs. It’s madness. Next, you have these annoying charities begging you to donate money by giving up your credit card. You have no choice but to be angry when you being stopped constantly by someone begging you to donate every two minutes. Its like “LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE” on top of the store advertisements subliminally begging you to come in a buy,  following a homeless person asking you to drop a coin.  It can be overwhelming, but it collects slowly like cholesterol. Trust me.

Lastly you have the train beggars, these include the homeless and the fruit snackers. Now, when an homeless person ask for money sometimes you can give, but mostly in the minds of most natives are whether or not their donation is going to used appropriately. Most hate to give a dollar and it goes immediately to drugs. It can be very depressing when a person who legs is missing, arm, or face after acid damage ask for money. This would usually be followed by a teen giving some “I am here trying to stay off the streets” speech selling fruit snacks. Every one of these guys have the same monologue. On top of that you can have a train performer slipping and sliding on the poles…it’s just too much asking for money in one  day!

2.Everybody trying to survive. The middle classmen are the ones who really has the end of the stick. Why? because you have tumblr_nb3vbiLEwf1trhlq2o1_1280two classes Lower and Upper depending on you to be the glue in every financial standpoint. The Lower classmen relies on the middle class taxes to support them as for the Upper classmen depends on you to be a functional taxing paying, money spending, individual to make the economy continue. They way New York City programs are setup, it’s not for the people who are working for nothing. It’s for the people who are doing nothing, sometimes doing nothing by choice.

For an example, certain programs are prejudice by area codes, area codes that are divided by income brackets. So if you live in my area code, its said to believe you are making enough money to sustain yourself so you can be denied from majority of the city benefits. Lets forget the raising food prices, rent, gas, clothes and more… Everybody is trying to survive the harshness of New York city that creates shallow people, company, and friends. Why? because many people in New York are too busy trying to make it in someone so they wont do many things unless its in benefit of them. Nothings free.

3. MTA Stands for Money Taking Association. I hate this transit it has to be the worst transit in the history of railways. Harriet Tubman has designed a better and faster shit than this. TRUST ME. MTA want to throw these “improving new York” signs that explains where the money is going …I don’t give a fuck about some damn sprinkler system!

Is that going to keep me cool underground when its a heat wave and their trains to busy break rails delaying shit…?

I don’t give two rat shits about that fancy touch screen map quest wanna be when yall already have train times when rails are breaking, when y’all move to damn slow!

What they needs to do is find a way to get to Brooklyn in 45 mins. They needs to redesign this whole set up thing called transit! I’ve been stuck underground for 15-20 minutes trying to leave the Bronx over train delays!  Imagine this randomly getting you late to work several times a week.  It should take one person 2 hours to get into Manhattan, that’s almost reach Albany, NY by car! that’s is far!

In summary an Average persons day can look like this….

-Wakes up at 6:30 am. Drink coffee. Skips breakfast. Jumps in 15 minute shower. gets dress leaves half awake.
-Waits for 7:30 bus with other commoners. Aboard packed bus because its rush hour. No seat available.
-Aboard train running express to the city. packed train, no seat. Fruit snacks man squeezes on train asking to buy. He leaves following a homeless man who smells really bad asking for quarters. Train stops between 86th street and 59th due to train delays. five minutes passed still stuck. It’s now 8:45am you have to a work at 9am you have 3 stops left.

-Work starts. you sit behind a cubicle. Lunch time you walk to mc Donald’s for lunch. Charity stops you to donate to Africa, you say no.  Tourist stops you to ask for directions but you cant understand them. Mc Donald’s now has a long line with everything 4 dollars overpriced than any other borough.

-work ends you aboard the train. More fruit snack men. More train performers. more delays. You get home check mail and out pours bills and more bills. Check voicemail at home with more bills collectors.

you cook. you eat. you watch prime time TV. Then you sleep and repeat.

This is like a rough sketch, it can be a lot of stressful living in NYC that causes the meanness in people.

So be patient.

Is It called Laziness, Procrastination, Or Simply Uninspired

Is It called Laziness, Procrastination, Or Simply Uninspired

It’s been a long time since I blog something. I had strong intentions to update frequently everyday, but as I can see it ain’t happening. I am not sure if it is pure laziness, procrastination, or simply uninspired.  I would awaken  and remind myself to update my blog, but when it get time to write it feels forced, I’m tired, I don’t know what to write about. The whole nine.

I also had plans to utilize my time more constructively. The idea to at least wake up at 6 am to give myself ample time to do a little squats, stretch, meditate, blog and then start my day.  I typically wake up at 10 am and I don’t go to sleep until about 2-3.  When I get home I want to relax but I am compelled to handle my responsibilities like homework. The universe knows how I deplore homework. I find my self not doing anything by laying down scrolling through Facebook and Tumblr.

I made an attempt on my memoir too, however, I stopped after a day because I felt like I should be doing more appropriate things like school work, but I don’t want to do school work, so I don’t feel the right to do my memoir. It kinda like if punishing yourself. It’s like I know I’m suppose to do something and I shouldn’t be doing other things that is not important…so I do nothing instead.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me in a humorous way. I figure I should just say what I want to do and do it rather just not do anything and complain on what I want to do. At the end of the day I am only stopping me. I just wish I had the full drive. I lack much enthusiasm. Surprisingly, I though my peers see a lot of potential in me.

Which is restored energy…
It’s very uplifting to know people see me going places.
Because, I haven’t see it.

I digress. I will attempt to update more, again.  It’s just that I have so much on my plate and everything seems like a chore.
The wonder years of childhood!