I want to be understood. Like how one understand the calculation of the seasons, like how the Egyptians knew the precise location of Sirus A.
I want to be understood.
That “ah ha!” moment.
The feeling when someone says “I get what your saying.”
The moment when someone agrees with you. The moment you convinced someone who you are on an emotional level.
I want to be understood. Like how one understands to smile when they feel joy. Like how you understand a child.
I want to be understood that I am a human.
I am Dontae.
I am who I am.
I am all that is.
But I have to really learn and not fight that idea everybody will understand me. I am not asking to agree. I am asking to hear me out.
Know why I do what I do.
Why I am they way I am.
Why I read certain things.
Why I give.
Why I expect.
Why I believe.
Why things interest me.
Why I am seeking.
Why I am joking.
Why I am hiding.
Why something may anger me.
Why I may pass judgement.
Why I have an opinion.
Why I am emotional
Why I am happy.
Why I am rebellious.
Why this scares me.
Why I have hope.
There is power in knowing why? Its what leads to discovery. The discovery of one another, the discovery of true understanding. Why is what pulls the layers of one apart reaching into the depths unexplored, unexplained, while bridging gaps that connects to everything. The conflict is accepting not everybody cares to know why? That the only thing that matters is the action inflicted not the understand the reason. I have to rid the feeling to convince people of who I am. I have to rid the feeling to be understood. How can one come form a place of compassion without understanding, without knowing why what is-is?
We may not like or agree with the unfair laws placed against us, but there’s a reason.
You may not like the high price in gas, but there’s a reason.
You may not like that you got cheated on, but there’s a reason.
A serial killer killed hundreds, but he has a reason.
She selling her body on the street, but she has a reason.
He stole him from his dad, but he has a reason.
Terrorist had reason.
Countries don’t like American, for a more than agreeable reasons.
You think the wise one knew what they were up against without knowing the reason?
You think Gandhi faced his battles without knowing why the oppressors are what they are?
You think MLK, Malcolm X and more, didn’t know why they wanted to oppress Blacks?
You think terrorist have a reason?
I want to be understood.
I want to be looked at as all the parts of me in one.
Look at me holistically.
The merge of all reasoning.