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Freedom

This growing freedom feels great.
I can almost tear thinking about the possibilities of what I can do for I am not in a relationship anymore.

I can focus on myself and what I want to do for me. I can be 22 years old.
 Before, I calculated my move and prevented myself from doing many things on the account of my partner.  I was afraid everything I do will be wrong. If I go to a friends/associates house he doesn’t know, If I go somewhere without telling him, If I say or handle any situations I don’t like.

It was underhanded manipulation. I felt taking for granted.
You have to understand how it feels to constantly be in the wrong in someone eyes and never appreciated as fully as you appreciated. Don’t get my wrong I had my fault in some too that was completely understandable.

however, I know for sure 90% of my actions did not hurt the relationship. I have been emotionally stomped on with the person who plays the relationship card monthly.

The disrespect, the mind games, the manipulation, all of that is no more and I am so happy.
At first it I didn’t understand it. I mourned, I felt very sad and low like any normal breakup.

But what woke me up was even after all is said and done I still got faulted on, angered at, blamed and all the above. Which forces me to automatically be the victim. I for one am tired of being the victim after constantly showing my love for someone.

I could’ve been treated better.

but Now, I can roam the city freely, learn to love myself again, learn to love someone else and take the lesson I’ve learned the passed three years.

I can spend the night at a friends house and don’t have to worry. Spend money on me and only me.

and just simply be RIGHT!

IF you have experience some form of freedom after a break up or anything rather, share in the comment box

 

7 thoughts on “Freedom”

  1. When I moved out from my fathers house. He never appreciated anything I did and every time he said he did or he loved me, it was all so fake

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  2. You’re ready to be yourself again, and that’s part of your beauty, my friend. You accept the lessons from the past and are prepared to love yet another. That’s a remarkable milestone and there are far too many who refuse or are unable to move on. Have fun and be safe, buddy!

    As to my past relationships, there’s one experience I’ll share here. He was married (to a woman) so we had to be very discreet. He was in denial that he was really a man who loved men. We did, briefly, think that we were in love with each other. After 7 months, I realized that I needed to be me and do me. I missed him at first, but soon realized that what I really missed was the comfort of a relationship, and not him per se.

    Much love and naked hugs, my friend. best wishes! 🙂

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