I’m curious are relationship titles need?
Titles ranging from boyfriends to situationships.
There seems to be a need to have some sort of the identification, is it because of the ego?
I ask this because two years ago and even last year I struggled with the need to have a title in my relationship. I thought it was so important because that what we are taught; You date, then make it official simultaneously getting that title. The struggle came in when I felt like I needed the title to feel complete. The actions of a full relationship was there on both ends, however, during hardships and turmoil and little voice in the back of my head come forth. This voice constantly antagonize me for being in what they called an unofficial relationship.
I would ask a friend or two about this issue and mostly get responses like, “Nah, after 4 months this means he don’t want you. You are being used. Give him an ultimatum.” I will feel even more insecure. Even though this was far from the truth, a negative mindset will fool you into thinking otherwise. Also, I had this need of wanting more and more to feel complete once again; feeding the ego more and more. I had the substance, I had enough substance to make others jealous of my relationship. So was the title really necessary. This is not a job.
Somehow, I thought the title was going to complete all that is missing. Why? cause titles comes with expectations. Boyfriends are obligated to do X,Y,Z. Friends are expected to do all of this, and all of that, girlfriends got to act a certain way. This made me question…
what’s the difference between the honeymoon stage in a relationship to the Post-Honeymoon stage? Looking deep into the actions of a couple and from my experience, there is a level of ease and freedom. During the honeymoon stage you wouldn’t feel obligated to do anything because more than likely there is no title, so your actions become natural, free, and willingly. There is not hard concern about your partners location, and social life then, so why does it have to change later on.
During the honeymoon stage, the seriousness is way down. couples are to concern with being in each others presence and discovering. For me, there less nagging, less worry and concern although I cared equally. For an example, I realized I was got to conscious on my partners locations all the time. I felt the need to know all the time every minute, if he moved from where I thought he would be and I wasn’t aware I would feel offended. If his mom don’t have a GPS on him, why should I? During the beginning I didn’t so why start now? In my mind, I reasoned, “well if somebody would to ask me where is he, and I say I don’t know, that would make me look like I didn’t care for him.” But why be so strict and overbearing? The deeper the feelings grow the more fear of getting hurt badly there is, so we act irrational?
So I ask you guys, how do you feel about titles?
Do you feel like it adds obligations and pressure?
Do you feel the need to have it, if so why?
Do you feel its better to have the title and no substance or substance and no title?