When We Meet

Why do I feel like its my first date when I’m only dropping off an outfit to you?

I pick out a decent shirt with my Jordan’s and leather jacket. I walk towards my window picking up this blue liquid by Avon ready to smell handsome.  I hope you think I am handsome, if so, tell me when you see me. I got the costume you asked for. I know you will look good in when take your trip to Albany.

Hopefully when we meet we can grab a bite to eat like pizza on West 4th. Its only a dollar. I know you are not in the rush. At least I hope you have no prior engagements.

Hopefully you embrace me with full arms. Like we haven’t seen each other in years. I know you don’t smile and blush like me, but dont judge me when I do it. We don’t have to stay out long or go to the pier and watch the water wave.

Don’t mind me but I’m going to drag you the waters anyways, if you allow it, if not I’m going to make sure during the walk to get pizza I will jump on you. I might grab you by neck and squeeze my affection all over you.

I’m prepared to not get same feedback. I know you’re not that mushy gushy. Although I would want you to be a butterball of valentine everyday it’s unrealistic. You can try though. It wont hurt. People should show more of the love emotion anyways and no so resistant. Machoness can go but so far! Ha! I chuckled.

I am almost to you.
I am on 125 st.
See you soon.

Thinking Of You

I want you at my side sitting by the dark waters of the Hudson. Let the light of the two cities illuminate the river as we sit on this wooden throne alone. Hold me close to you, be my security, and bathe me in  your serenity. Make me blush. Make the butterflies bloom from within.

I want to intertwine my my fingers with yours. Remind me that you are my hero saving me from me as I learn to live with me. Be my rock with smooth edges like the curves in your chest. Love me with the color of green like mother nature. Have fun with me and always win. Let me be your best friend . let’s explore the town with new eyes. I want our focus to be about making each other happy.

I want to be better than we was before. I want us to be fruitful in each other. Advancing in love in ways we only can reach for.


I can’t be the only one with this dream.

If A Child Lives With….

So I have this strong admiration for children and more than likely will have my own children. 
I hope to have my children after I traveled oversees a few times.

To eat authentic foods all over Europe, become one with nature and animals in Africa, swim in the crystal clear waters of the virgin islands, visit the nation parks of the U.S. and just marvel in the well carved natural ground that is magnificent in sight. That far beats any TV show, or Facebook post.

Similar to my last post about ( Teach yourself , To then teach your kids) I would like to quote this unknown source Titled

“Children Learn What They are Taught,” and it goes something like this 

“If a child lives with criticism, He learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, He learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule, He learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame, He learns to be guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance, He learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement, He learns to be confident
if a child lives with praise, He learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness, He learns justice.
If a child lives with security, He learns to have faith
If a child lives with approval, He learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship he learns to find love in the world.”

I thought this to be very interesting on values that are being taught that essentially builds on character..

Teach yourself, To Then Teach Your Kids

I am re-reading a wonderful book for probably the third time called
Outwitting The Devil  by Napoleon Hill, famous author of Think Grow Rich

It a book describing the experience Mr. Hill had explaining his contact with the devil. This book was originally written in 1938, but was not published until 2011

Whether you believe the content of the this interview styled book to be true or not.
You cannot deny the extreme truth soundness of the content.

I do want to quote a sections that explains things to better children to become achievers and not be swindling by the workings of the “Devil” which its just everything negative down to the negative particle of an atom so to speak.

-Teach the students how to budget and use time, and above all teach the truth that time is the greatest asset available to human beings and the cheapest.
-Teach children what to eat, how much to eat, and what is the relationship between proper eating and sound health.
-Teach children to be definite in all things, beginning with the choice of a definite major purpose in life!
- Teach children the nature and the value of self-control.
- Teach children not to have opinions unless they are formed from facts or beliefs which may reasonable be accepted as facts. Teach children that cigarettes, liquor, narcotics, and overindulgence in sex destroy the power of will and lead to the habit of drifting. Do not forbid these evils-just explain them.
- Teach children the danger of believing anything merely because their, parents, religious instructors, or someone else says it is so.
- Teach children to be true to themselves at all times and, since they cannot please everybody, therefore to do a good job of pleasing themselves.

This book has way more inquisitive meaning life learned lesson to take with you. I love this book, pretty much my bible!

I really recommend it!   


Conversation with my self

I broke into a conversation with myself in regards to Loverboy and this is how it went.

Do you want yall to be together ?
    I do😶. I just want us to not be as were before.

Then what do you want ?
    I wanted to shift the method in which our relationship ran. In other words, I wanted us to be more in harminous. Well I wanted him included in the things I do. I didn’t want to feel so disconnected with him through a strong seperation of our social life’s. My social life no matter how unstable is part of my life. A huge part.

What do I want from him specifically?
         I wanted him to tell me often how I made him feel. I wanted him to emotionally let me know where I stand. Especially, after I do something nice. At least out weigh the drama. I still want to be told I’m cute and handsome randomly as reassurance. I would just assume these things…which to me is not fruitful if I’m telling myself these things. I did somehow want him to be superman. To take charge and lead and I follow 💪. To take my places of his choice. To demand to see me. I want to ride the wave of him for a while. And more tongue kisses waaaaaaay more 👅💋. Less loose loose situations. :|

What could have you changed about yourself if you had the power to?
       Maybe to be more verbal. For someone who knows how to talk for hours I didn’t execute it as well as I should.  Together we were fine. Perfect really. But once we are away from each other…lord! Explosions.

Why do you think that ?
        Well it was the level of common interest. We came from two different worlds honestly. He was interested in a few things that I’m not. Most of those times with I speak a ton and one things I do it to those who I share common interest with which is very slim to one or two other people who  am socially involved with. I have tried but the engagement or depth of the conversations thats not really of interest wouldn’t go as far. Which is common in general. Our conversations would, to me, sound like me speaking all one experience once done. Other would change the subject To their experience and we flip flop. Not much full dept conversations that ignites the both of us deeply when away from each other. We did have a few success when not texting….actually texting could’ve been the #1 downfall. Too much Morse code not enough human connectionism when away from each other. Could explain these issues when only away.

What were the good times
      The times when I was with him and nothing else existed. Not my job, not some ball event, home stress, life stress, everything. He was my home away from home. My vacation. My comfort zone. My home again😁. Love dome.  I love the trips to the pier, the elaborate dates usually my ideas 🙌. I take pride in that. But mostly when I’m laying down with him. When I make him laugh. Our hotel night.  Any time when most intimate and most laughing.

If he were to read this what would you want him to get out of this?
       To understand. To understand me on a deeper level nothing surfaced on my actions and emotions only.  To know how much I do love him. I still believe all relationships can be fixed I think its takes work a lot of work. Sometimes you need time to focus attention on you then come back together. Our relationship is very unique. Its not perfect and I’m glad its not. I wish we would take what we learned from our experiences together to better each other and not someone else. Our lessons are for us really. If we were to carry out some lessons it can come off as baggage for the next. This could be similar to the saying “failure with it carries a seed equivalent to success” by the famous Napoleon Hill. If your faults are failures maybe the lessons from them can help me and him grow. That’s all that were doing…just growing.

Why dont you let him go?
       I always feel like there’s a way. We were together for reason. If two people want the best then it will happen. We have more control then we think. Its just about perspective. Its possible to be the best for each other. I don’t believe in. Just cause we in love don’t we have to be together. It think its a common dogma of nonsense. A scapegoat sentence used to give leeway to quit. I know he still wants me and love me. Just not at this moment.

What do you plan to do now at this state?
           Wait and see what he wants for sure. then slowly rebuild the foundation wiser and better. Like the fall of the great cities. Just instead of building around the ruins we clear and make way for new pavement and start anew.

Cookie Beauty Secrets

PingBack:”Object Lesson”
If we asked your friends what object they most immediately associate with you, what would they answer?

Would you call this an object though? if or if not who cares, my friends know I love adore and crave a nice soft, delectable, raisin, plumped, Quaker oaty, crumby, flavorful, hot, mellow in a sunshine making,  tantalizing  taste buds igniting, smooth, tangy, first kiss feeling, real love making, steamy sex filled summer night under the stars having, bone chilling to the skin crawling, chills making with zesty round of holy grail goodness licking oatmeal cookies.

I don’t know why, I don’t know when I found my first love bit I did and we been married every since.
but first, I must tell you guys how to eat an Oatmeal Cookie Properly to ensure you have the full life changing experience I have when I eat my gender-less husband. 

Step 1 – Buy The Right Cookie 
It’s very important where you want to pick out your cookie for a taste in marriage. You cant just walk the isle of any supermarket ( church) and believe every cookie is ready for this arrangement. I would like to recommend Subway’s oatmeal cookies or even Mc Donalds for a number of reason…mainly because of …QUALITY!  You want to make sure the raisins are VISIBLE. As seen in the image across you can see the plump raisin reassuring the quality of the cookie. You want to make sure the cookie is soft to chew. We are not eating ginger snaps. Your cookie should NOT be snap crackling and popping. That is diffinitely the WRONG cookie of choice. 

Step 2 – Split The Cookie In Half
You want beauty, you want the secret, you want real love? Well split the cookie in half to  release the micro atoms in the cookie that will regenerate you skin on a cellular level.  You want to eat split the cookie every chance you get in half, then again in fourths this will certain give you that flawless skin and can look like your favorite movie star! Plus do this process very slowly to ensure precision. Be as neat as possible so when it is time to chow down you have more pieces to savor the taste in.



Step 3 – Eat it

          You want to look my mentor below. This is how you eat a cookie. You gobble it up like a vacuum cleaner. You have to make lots of grunts and good tasting noise so other people and know what you are eating. It’s great forms of advertisements! 


    That’s all for now, hope you guys eat your cookie correctly. You can purchase them at your nearest store around you. For more Information  call me at (1-800-Iove-cookies so much-that-it-changed-my-life-forever)

Organized Religion

Do you like organized religion?

My journey through spirituality has been a continuous one around 2010 through growing close to a devoted Christian. Well two friends actually were great influences on my Christianity.

Merely, cause at the time I was trying to find myself a little more deeply and thought why not give this a chance. See, religion wasn’t so strict in my house growing up. Yes we celebrated easter the urban way buy getting new clothes, also Xmas. We never really went to church regularly and quite frankly I’m glad we didn’t. We did do bible study though for a short period of time.

Naturally because of my sexuality I always felt severed from religion because of the outpour of hate. Which to me hate is hate, hate feels like hate in your chest and emotions. and hate is no different from any other hate. Anyways, I, however, also feel separated from the stories in the bible. It seems like all the main heroes on the story had this amazing gift to speak to God and have this divine connection even speak to angels. I wanted to feel as special and connected to God as all the characters in the bible. Can at least speak in tongue and experience the very essence of the holy spirit.

I would look around me and through experience I never saw anymore of these heroes created after the bible. So I thought why did the bible and its stories end? Are there no more heroes to be made to save us from economic slavery, what about  U.S. slavery in the 1800’s who was the great moses of that time? Even the Holocaust.  There were no religious supermans created like Noah and moses and more?

I would read the bible and get lost in translation. I saw nothing but a set of rule books that represented that period and point of time. At church service I was in love with the music and live bands and the promotion of happiness to some degree. I never understood the need to donate money. And I never understood the speaking in tongue experience which further made me felt unworthy

The unworthy feeling crept as I read more into religion. Then came the connections of organized religion.
Why are they’re so many domininations of Christianity that selectively chooses to teach what they want. On top of not agree with another form of belief in its same sector like Catholics and Judaism.

I didn’t like the ideal of blind faith because its what’s caused the destructions of many people and the foundations of the tragic horrors people use from manipulation. You can’t disprove an opinion and people have used and exploited “God” because its a subjective term than can and is a motive behind everything right or wrong.

I cannot fight against someone saying. “I got a calling from God, he spoke to me and told me to invade Manhattan” it’s impossible.

So I gave up and started to venture off to spirituality and realized in was getting better reaults as far as connections with the higher intelligence then organized religion.

I learned to love myself, nourish my body, pray positively, I felt free from any constrictions. No demanding tithes or hateful slurs. I didn’t feel guilty and unworthy for being who I am. I seen it as the original of all religion. The practice of love and oneness with all.

Astronauts get the same awakening experience when flying out of space and look back at whole world. Its a since of feeling that we are all one. Not that selective people are going to heaven. Not who is going to hell. Not, the lack of free thinking and individuality while still maintaining a sense of togetherness. Not this religion is faker and we should kill them for not believing what I do. Not promoting fear.

I am not against religion. I am against religious insititutions it goes against the purpose of religion. We are humans of free will and thought with the ability to create. We are creators like the divine. Anything that prohibits our very nature of free thought into someone else thought is rather a strong control. I dont wanted to be controlled.

I want to love and be free in me.

Plus I scene the destruction of these institutions and it’s very very long history of havoc even today. You won’t get that from the monks,gurus and even ghandi.

Surprisingly, our founding fathers were not of any religion. They believed in the higher power not a religious God. They also believed you get closer to “God” by understanding nature and its laws. This is called deitsim as they came from the Age Of Reason.

So, how do you feel about organized religion