Heavy waters.

I took off my shirt and threw it to the side of the bathroom. It fell on the side of the toilet, but I didn’t care. I followed with my pants being pulled down. My brown temple showed it self in the mirror that holds no secrets. I took off my underwear revealing all of my brownskin in different shades. My hair is two weeks outdated from its last haircut. My face sullen with marks of acne and bad dieting. I pushed aside my white sea shelled bath curtains to turn on the knobs and ignite the shower. The terrental rains splattered against the tub. I made my way in. My once dry skin is now moist. My sanctuary fills up with warm steam. I try to let go of the built up emotions, but I failed.  I opened my body scrub with sea salt and essential oils that changed the scenery with its Forrest smell. The essential oils soften my skin to impeccable luxury. I try to embrace the gratitude I felt when my hands raced across my arms and legs with slippery ease. The smell transports me to a get away in brackets of imagination flashes. Vacation away haulted by upsetting thoughts:
   I don’t understand any longer. The fight and the confusion. The paranoia and discomfort. I don’t know if this love is toxic. I don’t know if this is love. Why can’t we be at peace forever with each other. Why must you be so paranoid. Are you afraid I’m going leave? Why not focus on making me happy; making each other happy. I thought everything was fine. I thought we were moving forward. Maybe cause I accepted flattery. Did you accept flattery as well? Have you been perfect all up until now ? Are we not mature enough? I ask of the universe to send me the right answer to show me is this right for me. My insticts are confusing me. I need something definite.
  My face frowned. My head, like a reseviour of water, held stress. I can feel the worry. I can feel the confusion. I can feel the dis-ease. I belted out a loud cry. I dip my head in pouring rain. I hope the warmth of the water will embrace me enough to rid my thought and promote a positive feeling. Instead, it caused me buckle down. I sat in the tub hunched over. I accepted how I felt as now. I didn’t want to accept my thoughts. I didn’t want to no longer feel this discomfort. Still bare in skin I belted out one last time. This wail broke the dam that held my emotions and it poured. I, like the water pelting against my skin, began to weep. I take my hands and placed them on my head as the water falls rapidly. The water curves my hands and my eyes. The water stream seperates on my face making new trails across my eyes, down my nose falling off a cliff to the top of my full lips. The warmer water from inside slowly trickled my cheeks moving at its own pace admist the wild foreign waters. I can taste the salty tears and the fluoride infused water.

I have one last chance in me. If this doesn’t work. I will fully take all responsibility and go for good.

I will try to be vulnerable.

To-do? Done!

Daily Prompt: Quickly list five things you’d like to change in your life. Now, write a post about a day in your life once all five have been crossed off your to-do list.

1. Get a better paying job that is fun and flexibile.

2. Get a HP laptop.

3. Take swimming classes, ballet classes, Bikram Yoga class.

4. Love yourself more.

5. Juice your fruits and vegetables.

…Finally, I am able to cross out the last list of things I want out of my life. Today marks the complete day of my transformation. I have watched and read The secret. I have read  Napoleon hill! Saying the same thing. I’ve read enough spiritual and self help book. .I said to myself I want change and abundance of satisfication from the things I want from my life. I took control admist the adversities. We all came from a broken foundation. We all came from a deck of cards we didn’t choose…. Well most of us. The process to change however applies to every one. I come to realize the law of attraction is the most unbiased and totally equal force know to man. A force that gives everybody a chance. No matter where you came from or what you do. We all have the equal power to manifest. We may not have the full god power to create grass and water, But we have enough power to be God within our means. We can create a being like how god created us and we can also create and shape our life. Like how God created and shaped this earth and universe. It sounds cliche and a bit hippy like but it’s the truth. Take full responsibility of yourself and what you want from the shut you don’t like to the abundance you want. We each have our own lane where there’s enough pleasure to go around. We all don’t want the same food, or person, amount of money, or  car etc. our individuality and flaws creates our own lane. Our uniqueness are only for us making it enough to live abundantly…sarcacity exist with greed. However there is still enough and will always be enough.

Long story short. I am happy.

Daily prompt: To-Do? Done!

Ray Rice: Domestic Violence? or Should We Mind Our Business?

Has drama in the elevator become a norm?
I say this on behalf of Solange Knowles and Ray Rice. Can’t anything get passed TMZ especially after catching these violent acts of Solange beating up Jay-Z to now recent story of Ray Rice beating his girlfriend; which is now a collaboration of Rihanna vs. Chris Brown’s incident, and Jay-Z vs Solange’s incident mixed together. Should we give them a doggy biscuit?

Ray Rice a former or still current NFL player for Ravens was soon dropped from the team and Suspended indefinitely by the NFL. Apparently, the incident happened two months ago, and since then the two are now married. When asked to NFL why they haven’t received the footage earlier allegedly, they asked the police and never got it. However, TMZ was able to receive it. Maybe, TMZ was able to pay for more the footage? Doubt it. According to CNN, NFL only suspended Ray Rice for two games and now feeling the wrath of not taking this incident much more seriously. Could domestic violence be common amongst NFL?

Rice replayed that night “over and over his his head” to continue saying those actions  “weren’t him.” Why apologize for something you did and then dismiss it in the same breath. It seems platonic and rehearsed and I say with with most celebrity incidents. Maybe, because they are men, I don’t know, but public apologies seems unoriginal, plain and emotionless. It’s like saying an apology to get it over with. I could sound a little harsh on the guy. To be honest, I am not even enraged although I oppose domestic violence on both ends, Janay Rice seems to be okay with it. I find it hard to get through when you slap your love one twice leaving them unconscious dragging them out the floor. I would be in state of shock that I did something that extreme. That’s just me and we all handle situations differently.

So, Mrs Janay Rice released her statement about the situation as well. Hot97 covered it showing a picture of her response on what seems like Instagram.

http://www.hot97.com/news/big-dennis/ray-rice-wife-responds-release-brutal-knockout-video-photovideo

Abused Victim Janay Rice Credit: DailyNews

Janay Rice States, I woke up this morning feeling like I had a horrible nightmare, feelling like I’m mourning the death of my closest friend. But to have to accept the fact that it’s reality is a nightmare in itself. No one knows the pain that the media & unwanted options from the public has caused my family. To make us relive a moment in our lives that we regret everyday is a horrible thing. To take something away from the man I love that he was worked his ass off for all his life just to gain ratings is horrific. THIS IS OUR LIFE! what don’t you all get. If your intentions were to hurt us, embarrass us, makes us feel alone, take all happiness away, you’ve succeeded on so many levels. Just know we will continue to grow & show the world what real love is. Ravensnation we love you!”

We should just totally mind your business, because clearly after this, she accepts everything. Who are we to tell her to leave her relationship or to take appropriate action. She says everything is okay! And everything happened was suppose to happen. Even better she saying that this situation is real love. Now, I understand when you get through problems and sticking out the worst of the worst situations, but does that even includes getting knocked unconscious?

Then get married soon afterwards, Well, all in hopes she maintains with him through the highs and lows of his career from this. Were it wont seem like she is with him for the money, as they stereotype most of these industry girls anyways.

So, I ask you all. How you do you feel about Janay’s response and her defending her husband Ray Rice? Do you feel that’s what true love is? Or should we just mind our business?

I figured, “Hey, Why Not Follow This Stranger Around”

I’m sitting in Starbucks with my laptop surfing the bloggers of WordPress. Starbucks is not my particular place, but its convenient.  This café is close to my home plus the weather is mild and comfortable to my skin. So I figured,”Hey, why not get some fresh air.” I ordered me several oatmeal cookies-which by  the way cost me a fortune-but it’s Sunday and I figured,”Hey, why not treat myself to my favorite cookies.” So I did.  I placed myself at a table for four. I am feeling somewhat like a humanitarian, otherwise, my ass would be at a table of two being very selfish with my space. Today is Sunday the sun is polite, I ordered my favorite cookies, so I fiqured, “Hey, why not be a little more inviting.” So I did.

I just finished posting on my blog “Too Good To Be True” When a figure decided to sit at the other end of the table. I took a quick glance. Then, I took another glance. This male is shirtless with a black Yankees baseball cap.  I did say the sun was polite, not  generous. I shrugged my shoulders without the care in the world. I thought maybe he is was waiting for somebody or maybe he was homeless. It’s none of my business anyways, the New York way!

I opened up YouTube on my browser and started playing Arianna Grande’s album that has been leaked.  I would buy the album, but this negro is broke until his credit card is clear! I was so in the zone I didn’t see the message my mother left me. “Did you cook dinner like I asked?” my mother texted. My jaw dropped I completely forgot about dinner. I checked the time and it read 6:45pm I am only 15 minutes away by foot which is enough time to cook dinner before my mom comes home.

I closed my laptop in a hurry and gathered my belonging. Before I left I took a quick glance at him. He was concentrating very deeply staring downward at the table.  “Yeah,” I thought “This guy is a weirdo.” It’s like why not meditate somewhere else.  I forward towards the door quickly thinking of maybe running home. Before I opened the double doors out of Starbucks, shirtless decides to grab my arm. I recoiled suddenly.

This guy face was chiseled with about a two week scruff on his jawline. He looked every eager and intense like I owed him something. Shirtless  asks for my name, and, for some reason, I replied. “It’s…Dontae, why?” I said cautiously. “I thought so,  I I’ve been looking for you. I need you to come with me now and you forgot this.” He handed me my half bitten oatmeal cookie I left on the table. “Oh my God, thank you this was a fortune,” I said.
“Okay, we must go.”
“Go where, I don’t even know you name”
“I cannot disclose our location yet, just trust me”
“And you name is…?”
“Black,” he responded.
“Black? That is so racist. You don’t even look black. You look Spanish and should change you name to Spaniard”
He made way out the store looking back at me chumping away on this cookie of love, “It means power.”
“I don’t care what it means,” I said “It can mean African-American. It is still racist and you needs to change you name.”
“Look time is of an essence are you coming or not?” he asked sternly.  I stood still in front of the doorway as he held the door open. I rolled my eyes and shrugged my shoulders. I figured, “Hey, its Sunday, nice weather, awesome cookies why not follow this stranger to an unknown location. It makes a great story to tell. I’ll have something to write about just in case WordPress makes a Prompt about strangers in a café. Like how rare that would be, right?

He took me to his all black Honda Accord. “You are so racist, its not even funny.” I screamed.  “Would you shut the fuck up already with that bullshit!” He blurted. I shook my head in disbelief. He showed me the inside of his trunk. It was filled with baby pictures of me, that I never seen before. “How the hell do you have this, where did you get this from?” I asked, worried. “Luke I am you father” he said in his best Dark Vader voice.
“You are so racist I swear, first you name is black then your car is black, now you pretending to be my dark father. You disgust me”

I awoken with the side my face red hot in a fetal position. It was pitched black and cramp. I think I am in the trunk of his car. I tried to feel around me to see if my laptop was still with me. I started to panic. I squirmed around the tight space into my pocket to call my mother. Then I thought, let me call my friend first. So I did.

“hey dontae, wait you still owe me my metrocard dumbass!”
“Shut up, Taylor, look…I think my dad kidnapped me”
“you have a dad,? he kidnapped you? where are you?”
“Look I don’t really know, just do me a favor. Go to my backyard there is a mat that is going to have my spare key to get in my house. Take it then make dinner before my mother comes home”
“Dontae are you okay?”
“Yes, Girl, Would you just do what I say please”
“I am about to call the police…”
“No! don’t look just do me that favor”
“I don’t know you already owe me a metrocard. I need to get to work….hello, are you there”
“Yes, sorry seems like we hit a bump are you going to do it or not?”
“yeah, fine, what is your dads name though?”
“It’s Black!”
“Oh Lord how racist that’s horrible”
“Right! I know, and his car is black too!”
“A Double whammy racist”
“Yes girl, okay I’m going. I’m going to text you when I can”
“Don’t forget about my metrocard either asswhole!”

Daily Prompt: Greetings, Stranger

Recommended Reads: My Favorite Books

Eat, Pray, Love

 I’m currently re-read this book for the second maybe third time. I bought on my nook where I can highlight and note take without destroying the pages. Why I recommend this book? well, besides the fact it was starred by the famous Julia Roberts, I am inspired by self help and spiritual journey books. In a brief summary if you have seen the movie its basically depress girl indulges in Italian culture of food and people. Then, Liz flies to India to learn self discipline, prayer, and her higher self.  Lastly, she goes to Bali to find love, well not intentionally but she does anyways. I love this book, especially when she is in Italy eating all day!

Eckhart-Tolle-The-Power-Of-Now-Review

I haven’t finished this book yet, talk bout POWERFUL. The reason why I recommend this book is because its extremely good and brings a lot of interesting perspective and reasoning to many things about yourself. I haven’t finished the book because deep down I feel like my mind doesn’t want to finish it and be figured out.  My mind avoids the need to pick up this book like the need to do other things when its time to do homework. The book is sort of difficult to get through because of the new understanding it brings. It like understanding Albert Einstein…okay, maybe that’s a strong comparison. Either way, its still a learning experience worth buying

 

Natural-Cures-They-Don-t-Want-You-to-Know-about-9780975599594

This book changed my LIFE! I random fell upon this book at the age of 18 in 2010. It was just chilling at my grandmothers house I decided to look at it and it opened my mind to so many things. It was like the secrets of society and its cruelness was finally explained to me. He explained the money making scams to sell medicinal drugs, show insight on how to really  take care of yourself whether or not these cures actually work, it’s extremely informative and benefice for your life! This what really ignite the spiritual side in me although its not spiritual book.

 

outwitting-the-devil

This is my new bible. I swear to everything I love whether or not you actually believe the author spoke with the devil or not. You learn so much about how negativity spreads, how negativity grabs the hold on people. You’ll learn to how to be self sufficient. I actually reference this book in a post once explaining how to teach children. It’s by far one the best books I’ve read.

 

vc-andrew_flowers-in-the-attic

NEED I SAY MORE. THIS BOOK COMPELLS ME TO BE A WRITER!  I’m sort of being lazy by not elaborating on the book. This book is old though, most of my mother generation read this book. They came out with a corny ass movie that do this book the worst reference. This book is AMAZING! TEN STARS!  The whole entire series was just outstanding. I cannot stress how much this book made me want to write. It made me find my writing voice. It inspired me to grab the readers by the eyes and ripped them out with just my words alone. This book is a masterpiece.

That’s all.
Any suggestions for me ?

What books spoke to you the most?

WordPress Overload

I want some help here. I am curious to know how does one manage the posts of over several thousand people. If the point is to engage with other publishers on WordPress and build a community, how do you engage with such mass?

If let’s say everybody is a frequent poster. If everybody is busy posting who is left to read? And if, we post too frequently is our content actually valued properly?

Similar how Rihanna drops single and albums like panties thrown to Elvis, her songs are frequent but they don’t last through time. Her songs like most artist today, is only for the times. Spiritually speaking these artist are very “present” and in the moment, don’t lager worrying about the future.

But scratch that! Reading blogs requires time and effort and its very time consuming as it requires time and effort. (Yes, I purposely rephrased within a sentence.) I want to know how so you manage your feeds. Do you read a blog a day? Do you spend time reading blogs only for one day? I was thinking maybe posting once a week. Then, all the other days I will take time and read and engage. It sounds like a chore now that I am thinking about it, but it is fair if you want  your voice herd.

I’m asking this because there’s a blog that I follow with 42,000 followers. One of his many tips is to post frequently. Which is not a hard thing to do, but this is not Facebook or twitter. I care about my content here much more than those other outlets. This is why I choose to not post about pop culture. That is so cliche. I like reading about real live experiences past present or future. I like read and feel another human through words.

Anyways, how do you view your feed? Do you post only? Comment rarely?

Also, how do you pick who you follow? Do you follow any and everybody ?

Daily prompt : Overload alert

Manual Labor is The Devil.

Labor day just ended which signifies the end of summer as beaches and amusement parks come to a close. Just as summer is unofficially ending mother nature this weeks wants to crank up the heat and humidity. It was suppose to rain yesterday, by the way, and it didn’t. I was expecting it. Not to drift off topic too much but mother nature didn’t show her summer wrath with hurricane winds and tropical storms. It did the other day and I missed it being underground in a window less job.

Speaking of job, I’m going to share some experiences of my labor. If you know me you know I hate labor. Well, you know now. You still don’t know me however!

Dating back as far as I can remember I was never a fan of hard labor. I’m still not. Manual labor irritates my inner soul so bad it enables my past lives to be awakened to scream a prayer like this, “Lord hath mercy on thy body. To picketh this penny is to picketh a whale. Where art thou savior?” Maybe next time I will have Shakespeare better guide me I’m the next prayer. Anyways, labor has always been my enemy.

My dad was one of those labor guys where hustling sweat and tears made up his manhood. As for me I was completely the opposite. My dad one time made me scrub the rug in our apartment because we didn’t have a rub cleaner. For crying out loud! Literally, I hated it. Why do I have to scrub a 5  foot rug with a brush the size of my palm. I had to get on my knees like Annie and scrub like a slave. The horror! My face told the stories of my ancestors. My dad didn’t care although he was right with me on this deplorable task. He would say, “Come on Dontae scrub. Fix your face and scrub! This not a hard job we almost done.” Almost done? We have been “almost done” for the last two hours.

Then there was the time we had to move into another apartment. Carrying the boxes would drain me so bad I would stop after three steps and fan myself dramatically complaining. “Oh my god. My life is over”My 13 year self would say. My mom brother and father would look at me like I’m the alien. As if we were called the “Incredibles” and  manual labor was as easy as breathing. We are in the 21 century. We have robots and machinery and even people (to replace me) to help everybody. Just because I am a guy and guys are biologically stronger than women who said my muscles were conditioned for this. It’s not. I feel every muscle straining  to adapt to the harsh environment I threw it in. This why I have issues with jobs now.

My first job I worked at Wendy’s and when I tell you my legs fainted so many times. Working behind that grill making 20 burgers for one order under 3 minutes and working night shift only on weekends. I didn’t even know what life means. It was a very rude awakening to do that right after  I graduated high school. Then I quit to work in a seasonal job at Wendy’s during Christmas season. Which I enjoyed because I didn’t have to deal with rachet customers instead I politely fold towels. It was so boring. I had no one to talk too. No one was really that friendly. I did meet some nice tourist.

I worked I  panera bread loved that job so much because of the people then I got fired for “stealing cream cheese” which in actuality I had every right to take left over food. Its a damn shame how you have food stores making billions of dollars but a worker cannot give food away to the poor when its going in the garbage. I hate fast food restaurants. It’s a known thing amgonst most companies. Its accepted because it counts as profit and stealing. But, before I get upset…too late.

You know what? Jobs need us more than we need them. They take advantage of their workers all the time. We have lives not everybody wants to dedicate all of their time behind a desk. Then we have to ask for time off to enjoy ourselves as human. New York city just passed a law to pay people for sick days off. You know what year we are in….

Anways, summer is ending and a new labor starts. College. The biggest scam in the world.

 

Daily prompt : nightmare job